The Secret Groundwork to an Extraordinary 2016

A new year is just around the corner.  Another year is about to end.

Be honest with yourself …

·      Are you feeling tired, stressed or depressed?

·      Are you feeling disconnected from what really matters to you?

·      Are you feeling like you have lost your way, not even realizing it?

In my experience, when December hits, many leaders are burned out and depleted.  They are running on empty.

And understandably so.  The demands on a leader’s energy and attention throughout the year are endless.   I’ve been there myself.  I know.

Since that time, I have learned to make December a transition month.  Not only to prepare for the new year.  Also to revitalize my spirit and reconnect to the fire within.

This article provides you with 3 critical leadership steps for transitioning from the end of this year to 2016.   Let’s first address what are transitions.

What Are Transitions?  Why Are They Important to Leadership Growth?

Think of a transition like the period at the end of sentence.  It’s a pause.  It ends one sentence and creates a bridge to the next sentence.

Transitions are a natural important part of leadership growth, whether you realize it or not.  Some are by choice.  Some come from natural endings – like the end of a year, the end of a project, etc.

The problem is that leaders are often such doers, high initiative individuals, that they ignore or avoid transition periods, even though they are essential to your next level of growth.

Leadership breakthroughs can only happen in the pauses.   In transition periods.

These periods …

·      Provide the needed space for defining new directions in your leadership role.

·      Can revitalize your spirit and leadership fire

·      Reground you to what really matters.

·      Clears out the internal/external clutter that holds you back

3 Steps for Preparing for an Extraordinary 2016

Step 1:  Closures, Completions and Letting Go

Imagine a blackboard cluttered everywhere with writing. Not only will it be impossible to decipher the contents.  There will be little room for anything new.

The same is true with yourself and your organization.   Many leaders start the new year with excessive “energetic clutter” that will hold them back, if not addressed.

Below are 3 leadership areas for decluttering prior to the new year.

1.    Get closure on “unfinished business.”

“Unfinished business” is those items that consume your physical, mental and emotional energy and require closure to free up your wasted energy. For example,

·      What projects or goals have you started this year that you neither completed nor are working on?

·      What communications have you not delivered that needs to be completed– whether it be to a peer, employee, customer, etc.?

·      What clutter do you need to get rid of or file from your desk, office or email box?

2.    Eliminate “energy drains”

“Energy drains” are people, places, activities or procedures that undermine your effectiveness, violate your integrity standards or “cost” you or your company in some fashion.  For example,

·      What boundaries do you need to set with difficult customers costing you excessive time, your values (or company values) or resources?

·      What actions or projects do you need to stop doing and/or delegate to others?

·      Where are you tolerating underperformance or violations in behavior norms that needs to be dealt with?

3.    “What’s wrong with this picture?”

These areas include where you are out of integrity with yourself, your desires or your sense of fulfillment.  For example,

·      What strategies, behaviors, attitudes and/or beliefs that created success in the past are now obsolete and blocking your future leadership growth?

·      What things this year did you want to be that you’re not being?

·      What things did you want to do or start that you’re not doing?

·      What things did you want to change that you’re not changing?

·      What things have you done yet not acknowledged yourself for doing them?

December is a natural transition time to complete, eliminate or take inventory and action around current leadership “clutter” areas.

Whether you realize it or not, the unresolved past will not only weigh you down and undermine your leadership performance.  It is also the biggest contributor of your current stresses, internal conflicts and lack of motivation.

Whether it’s 20 minutes a day till end of the year or taking larger blocks of time away from the office, answer the above questions to start the new year clear, rejuvenated and at the top of your game.

Step 2:  Imagining a New Compelling Leadership Story

With each new year, leaders take time to look at their individual and organizational goals and visions.  There are many positive benefits to doing so.

Where most such efforts fail or are ineffective, however, is in 2 areas.

1.    Visions and goals are often extrapolated from the past and/or present (the known), rather than created from the future (the unknown).

2.    Developing visions and goals is often a forced intellectual exercise, rather than a creative, passionate and emerging exploration of new possibilities.

You will know you are ready for Step 2 when you feel connected to the part of yourself that knows your destiny.  When your mind’s eye starts to give you images, sounds and feelings of the leader you are about to become.

True visions emerge.  They pull your energy forward.  They are neither forced nor what you expect.

Your old way of being as a leader will simply seem wrong.  You are giving birth to a new vision of yourself as a leader.

To get your imagination going, fill out the matrix below for the new year as sequenced as follows.  Think in terms of behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, qualities, accomplishments or whatever else is important to you for the new year.

Lower Left Quadrant:  What you don’t want and don’t have

These are your non-negotiables.

Example:  You don’t want to unethical and you currently are not unethical.

 Lower Right Quadrant:  What you don’t want yet have.

These are the things you want to eliminate or let go of.

The trick with this quadrant is to convert all the “don’t wants yet haves” to their opposites (or what you do want instead).  Why?

Because the brain reinforces the very thing you no longer want.  The brain is unable to process the word not.

Example:  You don’t want stress yet you have it.

So what’s the opposite of not wanting stress?  That is, what do you want instead.  Peace?  Calmness?  Focus?  Centeredness?

Incorporate these opposites into the last quadrant (want/don’t have).

Upper Right Quadrant:  What you want and have.

These are the things you want to keep/preserve.  This is your gratitude list.

Example:  I want to start my day with a plan and am currently starting my day with a plan.

Upper Left Quadrant:  What you want yet don’t have.

These are your desires.  Your BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

Example:  I want to have strong accountability in my organization yet don’t currently have it.

Once you have filled out this matrix fully, imagine what your days will be like in the new year, having what you want (and eliminating what you don’t want).

This is a critical step.   Write out your new leadership story in present tense.

It should start with the words … “It is now December 30, 2016.  I am/have … (then write your new leadership narrative).

Step 3:  Testing for 100% Congruency.

At this point, you have completed all your unfinished business from the past year and have written a new leadership vision for 2016.

However, you are NOT done yet.  In my experience of working with leaders, Step 3 is the most critical (to realize your new goals and vision) yet rarely done.

The #1 reason why you did not realize your goals and vision this year is because you were not 100% congruent (on an unconscious level).  You wanted the goals yet …

You had your foot on the brake and accelerator at the same time. 

Denise Corcoran

Below are some questions to test for 100% congruency.

·      What might you lose if you achieve your vision or goals?

·      What are the possible benefits or secondary gains of not realizing your vision?

·      What might achieving your vision cost you?  Is it worth the cost?

·      On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your belief that you will achieve your vision?   Or that you have the capabilities to achieve it?

·      Do your new leadership goals conflict with other goals in your life?

·      When, where and with whom do you want to achieve your new goals?  (For example, if you want to be more assertive as a leader, is it ecological to do that in all situations and with all people?)

Without 100% congruency, your leadership vision will not only NOT be compelling.  You will unconsciously sabotage yourself from not achieving it.   Is that what you really want?

Bottomline:  Take time in December to follow these 3 steps to prepare for a groundbreaking new year in your leadership growth.

If you find yourself stuck in the process, click on the box in the right margin and sign up for a complimentary Leadership Strategy Session.  I have only 3 openings in December.  Sign up before it’s too late!

The post Re-Igniting Your Leadership Fire appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Your company is growing and has gained recognition and success.  Your culture and employees are thriving and you are so proud of everyone’s accomplishments.

Yet …

you feel something is missing.  You can’t put your finger on what.  After all, it’s been a challenging journey.  In many ways, you and your organization have arrived at its desired destination.

How could something be missing?

Guess what?

You are not alone.

That gnawing feeling of something missing is a positive thing.  It’s a sign your soul is stirring …

To something greater than your role and your company.  To a grander purpose.

You are becoming an awakener.

In today’s ever increasing complexity and change, you are being called to operate at a new level of consciousness.  To transcend your mission statement, competition and engagement practices.

Are ready to make that leap?

What Is a Leadership Awakener?

I am not a teacher, but an awakener.

Robert Frost

Most leaders’ roles and identities evolve.  Let’s take a look at one natural progression of a leader’s role.  Every role is important.

1.   Coach

Traditional coaching focuses on behavior.  The goal of a leader as coach is to improve the behavior of his/her team.

When leaders assume the role of coach, they are observing and giving feedback.  For example – coaching someone how to communicate more respectfully to teammates.

2.   Teacher

Teaching focuses on cognitive skills and capabilities.

A leader wearing the hat of teacher focuses on building  competencies and thinking capabilities – such as how to read a P&L statement or presentation skills.

3.   Mentor

Coaches and teachers focus on the external aspects of performance.  Mentors, however, focus on the internal aspects – ie., employees’ beliefs and values.

A leader wearing the hat of mentor focuses on influencing a person’s beliefs and values in a positive way – such as, believing in him/herself.

4.   Awakener

While awakening is definitely not a common term within organizations, leaders who operate at a high level of consciousness and being are the awakeners in the business world.

A leader as an awakener operates at the level of spirit or Higher Self.   Such leaders have the capacity to transcend their own mental maps (beliefs, values, identity) and connect with a greater Force within themselves and others.

Leadership Awakeners are the Game Changers of the World.

Are you ready to make the leap?

Leadership awakeners think differently. Perceive differently.  Decide differently.  Here are 3 (among many) distinctions.

As an awakener …

You View the Organization as a Hologram

What the heck is a hologram?!

A hologram is a 3 dimensional representation created with the use of a laser using a process called holography.

The fascinating property of holograms is that you can cut it up in tiny pieces and actually create the whole from a single part.

Not only does the whole contain all the parts.  Every part contains information about the whole.

WOW!!  Isn’t that mind blowing?!

The implications to an organization are huge!   The concept of a hologram says that every function … every product/service … every employee contains within it information about your entire company.

Nelson Mandela used this principle in transforming South Africa. He knew that the greatest chance of unifying the country was not through a top-down approach of sweeping changes.

Rather, that unity (the whole) would come from his relentless support of the country’s all white rugby team (a part) in the World Cup.  He rightly assumed that victory would unify the country.  The rest is history.

Applying the holographic property can accelerate success within your company.  Let’s look at 2 examples.

If you are like most leaders, you use a top-down approach in planning or envisioning your future.  That is, you take the whole and you break it into parts.  That approach has merit in certain contexts.

What if … with your next strategic plan, you instead take a bottoms up approach, using the holographic principle?

What if … you were to improve the weakest link in your organization (eg., competencies or efficiencies) and made that the focus of your strategic plan?

How would that one small change impact the performance of the entire organization?

How about applying the holographic principle to problem-solving?

What if … the next time your team solves a customer service or process problem, you focus on solving the bigger organizational issue – such as lack of cohesive teams? 

What would that do to your profitability, productivity and quality?

You See Competition as an Illusion

In our Western culture, we obsess about beating our competition and becoming the best.

That obsession shows in our love for “Best ____” lists and awards.  Fortune’s Top 100 Companies, 50 Best Places to Work for, Inc. 500/5000 and Top 40 Under 40 to name a few.

While competition can be a blessing, fueling higher standards and innovation.   It can equally be a curse.

It conditions you to think in terms of winning and losing or a zero sum game.  Those leaders who operate from a win/lose paradigm can’t see another way.

The truth is …

Competition is an illusion.

You will never win long term with this paradigm.  However, there is a more optimal paradigm from which leaders can operate.

John Nash –- behavioral economist and Nobel Prize recipient – is best known for advancing game theory and the equilibrium principle.

In simple terms, his work showed that …

the best result comes when everyone in a group (team, market, etc.) does what’s best for themselves and for the group.

His findings say that when your company works TOGETHER with — not against – your “competitors,” you ALL will be better off than if you worked at cross-purposes with each other.

Example:  Toyota and BMW have collaborated to create an environmentally friendly luxury car.  They shared costs and knowledge for electric car battery research.  BMW supplied diesel engines to Toyota.  Everybody won, especially the customer.

How might collaborating with a competitor reduce delivery times and costs, open up new markets or strengthen your position rather than weaken it?

Below are additional resources and examples to delve further about collaborating with competitors.

Collaborate with Your Competitors … and Win, 

Friendly Competition:  Competitors Collaborate  (video)

You Know That Perceived Limitations Are Wake-Up Calls

Stop for a moment.  Take inventory of ways you and/or your organization …

·      Struggle or effort

·      Feel fear when your customers or the economy slow down

·      Have hit a ceiling in growth, profits or performance

·      Don’t have money or time for critical projects

Your perceived limitations are your own creation.  Not consciously though.  You are stuck in the limiting confines of your own thinking.

Attribution: Canstock.com

When you hit such limits, you tend to panic at the edge between the known and unknown.  You fight for certainty and control.  Yet more knowledge, analyses and busyness are NOT the answer.

To transcend these limitations, you must awaken to another reality.  The world of Potentiality.  The world of unbounded possibilities.

In this new awakened state, you tap into a greater Force within yourself and beyond yourself.  You fear no challenge.  You are immune to criticism.  Self-power – or knowledge of Self — becomes your true source of power.

The question is … how do you awaken that part?

Here are 2 ways:

1.  Practice “not knowing”

Exploring the unknown opens the door to unlimited creativity and possibilities.

Start with a question or concern.  Let go of all knowledge, assumptions and ready answers.  Adopt a beginner’s mind.  Openness, curiosity, inquiry, reflection and learning are essential.  Take time to explore what you don’t know.  What new possibilities emerge from “not knowing?”

When practicing “not knowing,” you transcend fear of the unknown and engage in new possibilities.  You are excited about opportunities the unknown presents.

2.  Transcend your own mental maps

Your mental map are unconscious filters – beliefs, values, identity, etc. – that drive focus and perception.  These maps ARE the boundary conditions of your thinking.

When I work with leaders, my first goal is to uncover their mental maps.  Then change them to expand possibilities within themselves and then within others.  Because there is no set procedure, there are no steps I can give you for that change.

However, even if it is for a few brief moments initially, you can learn to transcend your mental maps.

Get quiet.   Go to that place within yourself where there are no fears.   No limiting beliefs.  No internal conflicts.  Trust your higher Self to take you there.  You will know you are there because you feel a sense of peace and ultimately pure silence.  It’s from that place new possibilities emerge.

Summary

The ultimate calling of a leader is to awaken the grander purpose and possibilities within themselves and then their employees.

Becoming a leadership awakener is the highest level of consciousness from which you can lead.  You transcend the mental maps, knowledge and expertise that limit your potential.  You lead from a level of spirit that knows no boundaries.

Life and work take on new meaning.  Struggles become a thing of the past.  You are at peace even in the midst of turmoil.

The question is …

Are ready to make that leap?

The post Real Leaders Become Awakeners appeared first on The Empowered Business.

How are you?

Busy? Relaxed? Energized? Tired?

I notice a pattern in modern life. I’m going too fast and packing too much in my days. I’m hunting for stimuli – or at least I’m distracted by them. I notice restlessness when I’m already tired. I see most people around me living by schedules that don’t leave space to slow down and to be mindfully aware of what really happens. How do you wake up to the present?

I’m lucky, though. Since I am self-employed, I can schedule time for contemplation. I know that I need some time for silence – to be my best self again when I work with clients. When I’m going too fast – I am less awake, less present in the moment.

So I’ve started an experiment. My intention is to follow my energy as much as possible – what do I feel like doing now? What gives me pleasure? What do I need at this moment?

Let’s wise up and go with the flow.

Let’s see if and how my experiences and results change when I give more attention to what I’m doing right now, with mindfulness. What emerges if I let go of attachment to outcomes and SMART goals?

For instance, my intention is to create something new (it’s been stewing and brewing for a while) but I’m not going to translate that into a target up front, like: “Finish my next book by the summer”.

Trust this moment

I’m going to BE with whatever is present – instead of only focusing on everything I must DO. I’m going to trust that things will work out – instead of fearing that I won’t get enough done when I follow my energy and needs.

I’m curious to see what emerges, or what important clues I get (that I may have missed in my busy-doing mindset) when I’ll be more mindful. It feels like an adventurous journey – in a way it’s letting go of (the illusion of) planning and control. I’m tired of trying to force reality into my mould according to schedules and goals.

Can you BE present instead of focusing on everything you must DO? 

What if I was more open and trusting toward reality? I have my intentions – but let’s see what happens when I travel in that direction: listening, feeling, sensing, checking, learning whether I’m aligned with what is present.

Let’s “wise up” and go with the flow – if there is any. Or wait ashore, if there is no flow, temporarily. The tide will eventually rise again – and until it does – why not enjoy your quiet time at the beach?

How do you satisfy your need for introversion, contemplation, quiet time?

People don’t learn from experience. We learn from reflection on experience. Regarding going too fast, consider this: There are three times to wake up: never, afterwards or while it is happening. As Eckhart Tolle says:

“Don’t ask, how long can I stay awake?
Rather count how many times you woke up.”

• How do you help yourself to wake up?
• How are you? What’s your energy and needs at this moment?
• How does your day change when you acknowledge them?

Marcella Bremer co-founded this Leadership & Change Blog and OCAI-online.com. She’s an author and culture & change consultant.  Check out Marcella’s digital magazine issues, white papers, videos, interviews and articles about positive leadership, culture, change and new organizations.  http://www.leadershipandchangemagazine.com

The post Are You Awake? appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Fears keeping you small

All leaders have fears.  However, not all your fears are created equal.

Some may manifest as low level anxieties.  Some are life paralyzing phobias.  Some may be triggered only by certain events – like fear of public speaking.  Others may be life-long fears.

Then there are the “big guns.”  These are the core unconscious leadership  fears from which all other fears come.  They override every aspect of your being.

In this article you will learn 7 unconscious leadership fears that keep you small.  First, it’s important to understand the nature of fear.

3 Truths About Fear Every Leader Needs to Know

1.     Fear is indestructible. 

Your brain is wired for fear. It is essential for your physical survival.  You want fear to send you signals when you are in danger, in an unsafe situation or about to make a high stakes mistake. Fear is your friend in those circumstances.

2.     Fear comes from a mental construct. 

Fear is a byproduct of your thoughts.  Your fear thoughts are mental constructs – meaning they have no basis in reality. As the saying goes, fear is “false evidence appearing real.”

The emotion of fear is real.  The content of your fear — your thoughts — is not real.  In your mind, though, you believe that your fear thoughts are reality.

To free yourself of such fear, you need to dislodge the mental constructs which drive fear.  Fear thoughts are of your own making and they can be unmade.

3.     Fearlessness does not exist.

Are you a leader that fantasizes about the day when you will be free of all fear?

Guess what?  It’s not going to happen.  Buying into the belief of fearlessness is a trap.  It’s an impossible goal to reach!  Even those who have achieved extraordinary feats have fear.

Your goal should not be to eliminate all fear.  Rather it should be, as one author wrote, to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Below are 7 core unconscious leadership fears you want to know about.  They are hijacking your leadership success and potential.

7 Unconscious Leadership Fears That Keep You Small

As a leader, you will be plagued by thousands of fears in your role.  You will have surface fears – such as fear of public speaking or holding employees accountable.

Then there are the deep unconscious leadership fears that enslave you until you break free.

1.     Fear of fear itself

Being a leader is demanding, high stakes work.  It stretches every ounce of your being.  It tests your strength of courage, perseverance and resilience.

The demands can be so great and the fear so paralyzing that the only way of getting relief is to put your head in the sand and pretend fear does not exist.  In those circumstances, your dominating fear is of fear itself.

In the short term, pretending you have no fear to move forward with your goals and actions can actually be a healthy choice.

In the long term, however, the fears you are avoiding will sabotage your every attempt to play a bigger leadership game.

2.     Fear of (owning your) power

All leaders are powerful yet few know how powerful they really are.  True personal power (or lack of it) determines whether you show up on the cause or effects side of your outcomes equation.

Being at the effects side means you believe that things happen to you.  That you have little or no control on your outcomes.

When you own your leadership power, you believe that …

You are at cause for all the results in your life.

If you fear power, it is because you are conflicted about it.  You have negative associations or beliefs about what power means.

The truth is that you can’t fully contribute your leadership gifts and talents if you fear owning your own leadership power.

3.     Fear of “being found out”

Within every person, there are 3 selves — a Pretend Self, a Feared Self and an Authentic Self.  Your Pretend Self  is that part of you that feels a need to hide behind an imaginary mask.

You don’t want others to know that you feel inadequate in your leadership role.  You don’t feel as though you’re smart enough, experienced enough, confident enough (fill in the blank) to be in your leadership role.

You take on other personas out of fear of being “found out.”  You put on a strong face – pretending to have it all together – when deep inside you feel like a fraud.

When you pretend to be someone you are not, you can never be your authentic powerful self.

4.     Fear of sharing your power

The world of leadership is filled with paradoxes.  One of those paradoxes is about power.

To be an exceptional leader, you must own your personal power (as addressed in #2).  Doing so allows you to take charge of your own individual outcomes and be an example to others.

However, once a leader owns their power, he/she tends to hoard it – such as making all the decisions, resolving all conflicts, leading all meetings, etc.  You hoard power because you fear loss of importance and lack of control if you share it.

Yet for a company to flourish, power must be distributed and shared throughout the organization.  This means developing employees as personal leaders within their own roles and teams.  Allowing them to make decisions within their own scope.  Giving them the tools and know-how to resolve their own conflicts.

5.     Fear of Truth

Reality is truth.  Yet our brains are not capable of knowing 100% reality.  The reason … your brain can only process less than 1%  all the sensory data at any moment of time.

Your sense of reality — or perceived reality – comes from your beliefs, your sense of identity, your model of the world and so forth.  You become so attached to your own sense of reality, that you avoid new information (truth) that conflicts with your current (limited) thinking.

By no means is fear of truth exclusive to leaders.  However, avoidance of  truth can have dire consequences to leaders and their organizations. Your actions and decisions are driven by cognitive biases and those biases can be costly.

For example, success often blinds leaders and prevents them from seeing the truth of a looming future ahead.

6.     Fear of losing the known

For your company to grow, leaders must move into foreign territories where they have no prior experience.  In those situations, you don’t have a mental flashlight to guide you.  That can be scary.

In reality, it’s NOT your fear of the unknown that stops you.  After all, how can you fear something you don’t even know about?!

What you really fear is …

Fear of losing (or letting go) of the known

As you grow to new leadership levels, the new possibilities can be endless.  Yet seldom does your mind see these new changes as amazing opportunities.  Instead, you …

·      Fear losing your sense of safety when making a leap

·      Fear letting go of current routines and habits that give you predictability

·      Fear letting go of who you are for who you can be

7.     Fear of your own brilliance

While it is a rare leader who hasn’t dreamed of standing on the shoulders of giants, boldly stepping out and realizing your own greatness is a scary proposition.

Yes, the majority of leaders fear their own brilliance.

How do I know?

I observe it in such behaviors as …

·      Getting caught up in distractions – such as, always looking at your cell phone

·      Mindless activities

·      Chasing the externals to make you feel good about yourself.

Being visible in the world … rising above mediocrity … standing in the light of your authentic self, that takes radical courage.

Fear does not have rule you.  The key is to know how to dislodge it.

Dislodge Your Unconscious Leadership Fears in 5 Minutes 

Step1:  Name your fear.

To break the hold of your fear, first name it.  Boil it down to a single word – like SeenAsFake.

Step 2:  Personify your fear.

For example, if you fear fear itself, perhaps you personify it as a big black monster.  If you fear power, perhaps you imagine it as Hitler or mean sergeant.

Step 3:  ID visual and auditory associations with your fear persona (identified in #2).

When you think of your fear persona …

·      What’s the characteristics of the picture?  Black and white or colored?  Large or small?  Near or far?

·      What does he/she/it sound like?  Deep or high voice?   Fast or slow pace?  Loud or soft?

Step 4:  Change the identified associations above to their opposites to transform your fear. 

For example,

·      If your fear picture is black/white, large and near, change it to color, small and far.

·      If your fear voice has a low pitch, loud volume and slow pace, change it to high pitch, low volume and fast pace.

That’s it!  With this simple 4 step process, your fear will transform from a roar to a whisper.

Want to know more secrets how to rise to the top of your leadership game? 

Sign up for our free report below — Wired to Win Big:  7 Inner Game Leadership Strategies to Rise to the Top and Stay There.  The only game you ever need to win is the game within your mind!

The post 7 Unconscious Leadership Fears That Keep You Small appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Can your body language …

• Make a difference in commanding leadership authority?
• Create trust or mistrust within an organization?
• Change your emotions after a stressful day?

Absolutely!!

Leadership authority is a by-product of 2 related aspects of yourself – your physiology and your emotional state. Call them the yin and yang of leadership authority.

The purpose of this article is NOT to give you a list of gestures, postures or leadership do’s and don’ts to communicate authority. Your emotions and your body language are both driven by your mind. And your mind is too complex for such generalizations.

An effective gesture in one context may backfire in another context. A smile may uplift people in certain situations. A smile when someone is angry however may escalate more anger.

The goal of this article is to teach you how to use your body language for communicating leadership authority, building deep trust and even changing your emotional state. Your body language can enhance or destroy your business relationships and influence on others. Let’s look at why.

The Mind Body Leadership Connection

A physiology of confidence is different than a physiology of worry. Your emotions follow your physiology by responding to tension levels, breath rate, speed of movement and your focus. On the other end, scientists now know that different emotions have a clear physiological response shown through your body language.

For example, anger can be detected through such body signals as leaning forward, flushed face and invasion of someone else’s space. Fear often triggers a dry mouth, holding one’s breath, lack of eye contact and other “fight or flight” signals.

You can also intentionally alter your emotional state by altering your physiology. For example, taking a few deep breaths can transform anxiety and stress to relaxation and clarity in an instant.

Create your physiology of leadership.

Have you ever attended a Tony Robbins’ event? If you have, you know that Tony Robbins is Mr. Physiology himself.

Firewalk Steve Gamage (flickr)

He is a master at energizing thousands of people for long 18-20 hour days non-stop. He is a master at teaching participants – scared out of their minds — to walk over hot coals by putting “mind over matter.” His magic?

He builds into your neurology a new physiology to change your state of mind. All that dancing on the stage is for a reason. Pumping your fist in the air … yes, that’s intentional too.  From my involvement in a number of his programs, I learned I can change my emotions in an instant by changing my physiology.

Want to feel more passion? Move more rapidly. Speak more rapidly. Model the physiology of the most passionate people you know.

Want to interrupt anxiety or fear? Look up at the sky, smile and say the made up mantra “cool moss.” The latter is just to distract your mind from thinking fear thoughts.

Want to show authority? Stand tall with feet shoulder width apart and weight equally balanced.   Because authority is nonverbally communicated through height and space, the taller you appear and the more room you occupy, the more you look like you are in command. Remember also to own your space as addressed in Unleashing your Leadership Presence.

The work that Tony Robbins has been doing for decades is now backed by science.

According to researchers at Columbia and Harvard Universities, body language symbolizing power can actually affect leadership decision-making. Those who stood in power poses not only felt more powerful and in control. They were 45% more likely to take risks.

Purposefully expand your posture and you will alter your hormone levels – decreasing cortisol and increasing testosterone. A lower cortisol means lower stress. Higher testosterone means higher energy and an improved mood.

Takeaway: One small change in posture can trigger significant changes in how you feel and what you do.

Create instant trust and influence with your body language.

When you look at charismatic leaders, they have one skill in common – the ability to create deep rapport. Rapport is essential for any meaningful communications to take place — whether between a leader and a peer, between a boss and employee, between a leader and the entire organization.

Anything is possible in the presence of rapport.

Nothing is possible without it.

Dr. Milton Erickson

There is no leadership influence or trust without rapport. Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone and sensing disconnection when they did not respond? It’s uncomfortable not to have rapport with someone. Now you can change all that with rapport building skills, as outlined in this article.

First, however, we need to define what rapport IS and IS NOT. Let’s clarify the common myths about rapport.

Rapport IS …

• Deep unconscious connection with another that creates understanding and trust.
• Appreciating (not necessarily agreeing with) another’s perspective.
• Understanding and accepting another’s feelings.
• A form of influence

Rapport IS NOT about …

• Liking someone
• Small talk
• Similar interests
• Accepting what someone says or does. 

The above means that you can have rapport with someone and not even like them. You can have rapport with someone while disagreeing with them. You can have rapport without needing to create small talk.

People in rapport experience a resonance with each other. They adopt the same posture, gestures, head tilt and rate of breathing. When one leans, the other leans too. All of this body language matching is happening below their conscious awareness.

Step 1: Set an intention of win/win.

The first step is to set an intention for a win/win outcome with someone you would like to build rapport.  Because matching and mirroring physiology (or even written communications) is so powerful for building rapport, it should never be used for manipulative reasons.

Step 2: Match physiology.

Pick at lease one aspect of that person’s physiology you would like to match until you sense rapport.

Below are a few options.

• Smile
• Arms or legs crossed
• Siting back or forward
• Source of breath – chest, under the diaphragm or in the belly
• Rate of breath
• Eye contact
• Eye brows raised
• Tilting of head or body
• Sitting slouched or upright

Credit: PA Photos/Landov

By matching someone’s body language, you put yourself in sync with the other person’s behavior and meet them in their model of the world. It’s magical when it happens! 

The secret to successful rapport building is to match and mirror outside the other person’s conscious awareness. When you match someone’s body language, you would not do so simultaneously with the other person. Instead, you would wait till it is your turn to speak and then use a similar gesture or aspect of posture. This way they become aware of your connection on an unconscious level.

Matching and mirroring is not just a physiological phenomenon. When you are in rapport, you activate the same thinking and feeling circuitry – called mirror neurons – in your brain as in the other person. You think similar thoughts. You feel similar feelings. Doing so creates an instant connection and trust.

Step 3: Test your rapport level.

After you have been matching and mirroring for 5 – 10 minutes, check to see if you have rapport with the other person.

To do so, stop matching and intentionally shift some aspect of your physiology — such as, crossing your legs or leaning back in your chair – and notice what happens.

Does the other person’s body language start to mimic yours?

If so, you are in rapport. Once you have successfully matched, you create an environment in which you can lead the other person where you want them to go.

For a leader, that’s power! The possibilities are endless how a leader can use rapport to influence an individual or an entire organization, such as …

• Getting emotional buy-in from employees for your company’s vision.
• Leading change within your organization without resistance.
• Creating alignment with your peers around a common decision
• Relaxing nervous job candidates during an interview
• Introducing a new way of doing things when a person or team has become fixed in their ways.

Takeaway: Matching and mirroring physiology is one of your most powerful, yet under-utilized, leadership tools for creating rapport and trust.  And you can learn it in minutes.

Final comments

Your body language can make or break your leadership influence, emotional state and trust within relationships. While it’s easy to use your physiology to increase your leadership effectiveness, it does take focus, intention and practice.

Decide right now what situations in the coming week – a meeting, performance review, customer negotiation, etc – in which you will use your body language to communicate authority, build rapport or just feel good for no good reason.

Then email me and let me know the outcome.

The post Top Leaders Communicate Authority Through Body Language. appeared first on The Empowered Business.

In 1987, I flew to LA to a women’s leadership conference for one reason only.  To meet Anita Roddick, founder and “then” CEO of multi-billion dollar franchise,

Photo by David Niblack

The Body Shop, and asked her to write the forward of my book (to which she did say yes).

When I met her, I was stunned how amazingly small she was (even smaller than myself J).  Yet her commanding presence was so powerful, 30 years later, that memory is still vivid in my mind.

Leadership presence includes character, charisma and self-confidence YET is much more.  People with large presence actually exert a magnified energy field or aura.  You feel it.  You know it.  You are impacted by it.

The BIG question is … How can YOU develop your own leadership presence?

It all starts within, even before you speak.  Let’s look at the 3 most important how to’s.

Presence Factor 1: Own Your “Space”

I learned about the importance of owning my space from 3 completely unrelated interests — dancing, professional speaking and Qi Gong.

I learned, for example, to own my space as a speaker by claiming the stage as my “home.” Mentally, saying to myself “This is my place. I am home here. I own it.”   It also meant pausing before I spoke … as I stood centered and grounded on the stage … connecting silently with every single person in the audience.   It meant utilizing the entire stage – not just one area – to move and connect with my audience.

Owning your space is not physical nor visual. It is kinesthetic, energetic and spatial. It’s mindset, attitude, personal power and congruent physiology/tonality all wrapped up in one.

Owning your space is absolutely crucial to become a powerful, influential leader. Practice these 2 steps and you are on your way.

• Decide you belong …

whether it is on the dance floor, on the stage, at the head of a conference table or leading an entire nation.   Know you belong. Claim it. Step into it fully.  It’s your space, your place. And no one else’s.

When you own your space, you are letting your organization know that you believe in your value … that your voice and contribution matter.

Are you a leader that owns your space?

Or do you do everything you can to take up as little space as possible?

In your role, do you tend to shrink back from shining? Uncomfortable with attention? Feel insecure about yourself?

Your feelings about yourself and your ownership of space are directly correlated.   The question is: how do you change one or both?

That brings us to the next step for owning your space.

• Clear your space and make it your own.

According to quantum physics, every living creature has an energy field or space. The problem is that you are bombarded continuously by the demands, thoughts and emotions of others to the point that their energy is in your space. That’s right … their energy is in your space. And you are not even aware of it.

Many of the fears you experience are not even yours. They may be your parents’, spouse’s or colleagues’. They may be the media’s fears about the economy or other social ills. Or any other person for that matter.

The solution … you must clear your inner space of other’s “emotional clutter.” Here’s one simple exercise to do so.

Take a few deep breaths. Now simply observe your self-talk, emotions and thoughts. Are you replaying a conversation in your head? Are you feeling resentful because of another’s actions? Are you anxious about any specific area of your life?

Now set an intention to claim your space, mind and thoughts only for you … no one else. It’s time to clear your space. Imagine a giant magnet or vacuum cleaner – bigger than you – clearing out the “garbage” from your space. Give yourself a minute or so to pull out as much as you can.

Notice how much more space and freedom you now experience. Fill your space with an empowering color that signifies who you are and what you want to project to the world.

Guess what? You now own your space. Keep doing the above steps till owning your space becomes a part of who you are.

Presence Factor 2: Get Into Your Zone (aka “flow state”)

 Like it or not, your imagination drives both your leadership successes and failures. 

What you rehearse in your imagination, you tend to get.  If you imagine yourself going on stage and forgetting your lines, guess what? That’s what will happen

If, on the other hand, you see yourself giving a confident, mesmerizing performance (assuming you prepared), you will likely get that.

Mental rehearsal is a process, using your imagination and 5 senses, that puts you into your flow state. Every Olympic athlete uses it. That’s what got Michael Phelps 18 gold medals!

Phelps would lay in bed, eyes closed, and mentally rehearse the entire race. The start, diving into the water, and every detail of every stroke as though it was happening in real-time. He imagined even his warm up routine, possible mishaps and his responses to them, over and over again.

NOTE: Mental rehearsal is NOT the same thing as visualization. There are 2 main distinctions.

The focus of visualization is on the end result – such as, making a certain income. The focus of mental rehearsal is on the experience and execution – such as feeling confident, your movements and gestures, etc.

Visualization just includes the visual sense or images. When I teach mental rehearsal, I want my clients to use at least 3, ideally all 5, senses to have a powerful internalized “memory” of how they want to show up.

To use mental rehearsal to develop your commanding leadership presence, you need to:

Step 1: Describe how you want to perform

Identify a specific situation where you would like to exhibit leadership presence. Describe in detail … what will you see, feel, hear, smell and taste when you experience presence? For example, I am smiling and energetic. I exude confidence yet remain calm and authentic. I notice the audience engaged and present.

Step 2: Mentally rehearse as though watching yourself in a movie

Imagine you are watching yourself on a movie screen. See yourself showing up with presence in a specific situation. Include rich colors and images that are large and close to make real. See yourself acting decisively and without fear. Now include all sounds – eg., your voice exuding authority and background noises in the room. Include all feelings – temperature, mood, your body moving effortlessly. Who else is with you? What are they doing?

Step 3: Mentally rehearse as though you are in the movie

Now step into the image of yourself and run through the scenario again. This time you are seeing, feeling and hearing it as if it is happening NOW. Allow your imagination to create even greater details, more vivid colors, feeling exactly as you want to feel.

Repeat these 3 steps a number of times before your designated event or situation.

Presence Factor 3: Cultivate Your (Life Force) Energy

Knowing how to work with life force energy – yours and others — is key to successful leadership.  According to the book 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership,

“We have found that conscious leaders are masters at managing energy. When they allow energy to flow, they are alive, engaged, passionate, on purpose, creative, innovative, intuitive, clear, visionary, playful, relaxed and refreshed. Energy flow is our natural state, but when it’s blocked or interrupted, the life force so essential to great leadership is dampened, and effectiveness wanes immediately and drastically.”

When you learn how to work with and control your life force energy, your leadership presence, influence and performance will skyrocket. Where you put your mental attention can actually change your physical body and emotional energy. Here’s an exercise to demonstrate that. Do it with a partner.

Cultivating Inner Balance

First, put every ounce of your attention on your right ear lobe. Make sure your thoughts are on nothing else. When there, ask your partner to gently push you on the shoulder from the front. You will discover that the slightest touch will put you off balance.

Next, imagine there is a large golden sphere of energy in your belly area, just below the navel. Now put all your attention on this sphere. (In QiGong, we call this your energy center or dantian.) Once all your attention is there, ask your partner again to push your shoulder. Notice the difference. While the shoulder may move toward the back, you spring right back and don’t lose your balance.

Just 3-5 minutes a day, focusing on a golden sphere of energy in your belly is all you need to cultivate mental, emotional and physical balance, as well as build your life force energy. Even YOU can afford that little time for such a high payoff.

Now It’s Your Turn

The 3 strategies above – owning your space, mentally rehearsing and cultivating your life force energy – will put you on your path to a commanding leadership presence.   These strategies only take a small investment of time and daily practice.

As you increase your presence, you will find yourself closing more deals, wowing your audience and/or employees, achieving your vision and igniting passion in your organization.  Not to mention you will feel happier and at ease within yourself.

MAY PREVIEW:

Want to know the leadership secrets for building a climate of trust with your employees?  Stay tune for part 3 of our article series — How To Unlock Your Leadership Influence Instantly — in May.

Want to learn more about leadership influence?   Check out the following articles.

The post Unleashing Your Leadership Presence … appeared first on The Empowered Business.

I learned growing up, however, that not lying is NOT the same thing as admitting and telling the truth.  The former prevents us from making false statements; the latter has the generative power to change individuals and organizations.

In my decades of working with business leaders, I have found that there is one trait — above all others – that transforms mediocre leaders to extraordinary ones.   That one trait is …

Rigorous truth-telling

Real leaders have backbone.  They admit the uncomfortable truth that others are not willing to even see.  They have a passion to want the truth and confront reality head-on.

It’s not just the responsibility of a leader to see and tell the truth.  It is part of their soul, their moral fiber.  Any compromise destroys trust, respect and credibility with themselves and from others.

The most important person to tell the truth is to Yourself.

We often think about the importance for leaders to tell the truth to others within their organizations.  Yet the most important, yet hardest, aspect of leadership truth telling is being rigorously honest with yourself.

Why?

It takes guts, personal awareness and humility to tell the truth about yourself to yourself.

When I work with leaders, my first goal is to help them get rigorously honest with themselves.  I have found that when leaders are willing to look at how they they avoid or deny the truth, that mirror of truth will liberate them to become the authentic, powerful leader they are meant to be.

Not sure how to uncover your truth as a leader?   Take inventory of the following 7 truths to get real about the present and to fuel your leadership changes in the future.

7 Real Truths That Fuel Real Leaders

Truth 1:  Either you are fighting for reasons or fighting for results. 

As a leader, there is no middle ground in what you stand for. You can stand for reasons or you can stand for results.  You CAN”T stand for both.

Real leaders fight for the results they want.  They are bold, committed and persistent about their desired outcomes.

Mediocre leaders fight for reasons why they don’t achieve them. When they say “yes” to reasons, they are essentially saying “no” to results.

Which are you fighting for right now?

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Are you tolerating under-performance?
• When you lead a meeting, to what extent do team members give reasons why they did not keep their commitments or reach their goals?
• Have you created an organizational culture of strong accountability?

Truth 2:  Either you are creating your future or reacting to it. 

Real leaders are masters at creating their future because they are internally driven and decisive about what they want.   They take responsibility for all their outcomes and see themselves as the doers of the world.

Mediocre leaders are externally driven and at the effects of their environment.  They believe that they have little control over their outcomes and that things happen to them.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Does your organization find itself in perpetual crises?
• When a negative event happens – like loss of a major customer, do you find yourself in panic or do you seek new options to achieve your goals?
• Does your organization have a clear vision in which every employee knows how he/she contributes?

Truth 3:  Either you are playing to win or playing not to lose.

Underlying this truth, there is a pivotal assumption that realleaders get and mediocre leaders don’t.

What is that pivotal assumption?

It is that you have a clear understanding of what winning is.  Mediocre leaders never even ask themselves questions like … where do we want to win?  Where can we win?  What does winning look like?  

Once you have a clear concept of winning, how do you know if you are playing to win vs. playing not to lose?

The answer is: your identity.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you see yourself as a winner even when you fail?
• Does the thought of risking to win trigger fear in you?
• Do you have a winning strategy to reach your company’s goals?

Truth 4:  Either you are growing or you are stagnating.

For your company to grow, you must grow as a leader.  When you stagnate, so will your company.  It’s that simple.

Real leaders do the things that others think they cannot do.   They continuously “push the envelope” in what is possible.

Mediocre leaders avoid discomfort.  I mean really avoid it.  Discomfort for them triggers fear and threatens their sense of safety and survival.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you push yourself out of your comfort zone daily?
• Are you comfortable with discomfort?
• Do you thrive on challenges or shrink from them?

Truth 5:  Either you embrace conflict or you avoid it.

Conflict has become a dirty word in the business world.

Mediocre leaders avoid conflict at all costs.  It’s viewed as painful, scary and a win/lose situation at best.  As a result, their organizations become homogenous and filled with “yes” people.

As Jim Collins, author, Good to Great, concluded from his extensive research, the #1 difference between good and great companies is that the leaders of great companies fostered healthy conflict to set direction and create innovative solutions for the future.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do your employees ever disagree with your decisions or viewpoints?
• Is there pseudo-harmony within your team?
• Do you tend to placate others whose viewpoints are different than yours?

Truth 6:  Either your actions are moving you “toward” or “away from” your goals. 

All behavior is self-motivated.  Your actions are motivated either to move toward something positive or away from something negative/painful.

Real leaders are “toward” motivated.  There is always the next horizon to reach.  Mediocre leaders tend to be “away from” motivated, driven by negative beliefs or secondary gains.  Their primary focus is on what they don’t want, rather than on what they want.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Are your actions mainly focused on reaching your goals or eliminating problems?
• Are any of your actions (such as, checking emails, going to certain meetings, etc.) really a distraction and taking you off-course?
• Are you focused more on what you want or what you don’t want?

Truth 7:  Either you are truly leading or merely following.

Real leaders understand that leadership is a way of thinking and a way of engaging with others.  They take bold steps into the future and hold themselves and others to high standards.    They see themselves as a leader of leaders and their job is to develop other leaders.

Mediocre leaders seek recognition from their team over respect, decide through consensus and deflect responsibility for results and problems to others.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you tend to focus on solutions or problems?
• To what extent are your employees “rowing the boat in the same direction?”
• Is most of your day spent on completing tasks or growing your people?
  

The Greatest Truth of All

The greatest truth of all … is that,

Truth is power.

I know that admitting the truth about yourself can sting in the moment.  And avoiding the truth may seem like the easier route.

In reality, hiding from the truth is like having a 10,000 lb. weight on your shoulders that drags you down.  It holds you and your organization back.  It keeps you in stress and struggle.

Are you ready to dump the baggage?

Start by using the above 7 truths to get honest with yourself:

Are you …

• fighting for results?
• focused on creating the future?
• playing to win?
• growing and getting out of your comfort zone?
• leveraging conflict to create innovative solutions?
• taking actions that move you “toward” our goals?
• truly leading?

Only when you admit reality can you seize your true leadership power and take charge of yours/your organization’s fate.

Which of these leadership truths is holding you back the most?  What support do you need to have a breakthrough?

The post Real Truths That Fuel Real Leaders appeared first on The Empowered Business.

If you are a sucker for great leadership movies like I am — Invictus, Coach Carter and Moneyball just to name a few, it’s easy to assume that all leaders embody the same qualities as those in the movies.

Afterall, who hasn’t idealized business leaders to be strong, confident, make tough decisions and stand their ground no matter what?

While those leaders do exist, they are a minority.  In working with leaders for 30 years, I have found that the reality is shockingly different.

Most leaders take on their roles with the greatest of positive intentions.  Yet, along the way, they get lost.  Not by conscious choice.  Rather they are derailed by an underlying dysfunctional pattern called Codependency.

Codependency is a set of beliefs and behaviors that prevent individuals from having healthy, mutually beneficial relationships.  At first glance, the term “co-dependent leader” seems like an oxymoron, yet this dysfunctional behavioral pattern is rampant within the business world.

The question is …

Why does leadership codependency go undetected?

Let’s look at the top 3 reasons why.

1.     Codependent behaviors get masked by a company’s values and practices. 

The post Are You Addicted to Codependent Leadership? appeared first on The Empowered Business.

That’s what your limiting beliefs are like … large brick walls that prevent you from reaching your destination.  These mental brick walls paralyze you.  They block you.  And above all else, they seem impossible to move.

In the companion article to this one – The Secret to Rapid Leadership Breakthroughs, I addressed …

• Necessary conditions of any inner leadership change
• How changing leadership beliefs changes company results
• 3 core types of limiting leadership beliefs
• Client example of how a leader’s sabotaging belief was impeding his growth to become President of the company.

If you have not read that article, click here to learn how leadership beliefs can impact your performance.

Detect Your Sabotaging Leadership Beliefs Before They Do Damage

As mentioned in the companion article, you can think of your sabotaging beliefs as internal terrorists – those voices in your head that hijack you … you are not worthy … you can’t do something … it’s impossible, etc.

Most of those sabotaging beliefs exist at the unconscious level – that is, below our awareness – and they are running your show.  Because beliefs exist at the unconscious level, asking yourself what they are doesn’t work because you truly don’t know.

The BIG question then is …

How can you detect your sabotaging beliefs to achieve a breakthrough?

The answer is … Your Language.

Beliefs follow their own linguistic structure.  Think Sherlock Holmes.  You have to be a linguistic detective and pay attention for those structures.

Remember the 3 types of beliefs – covered in the companion article — that every leader needs to be aware of.  Let’s take a look at examples of how each type of belief can be reflected in your language.

Beliefs about Cause/Effect

Possible belief language: “ If/then,” “because,” “the reason is …”

Leadership examples of “cause beliefs”: 

• “If I assert myself, they won’t like me.”
• “If I don’t do this job perfectly, they will fire me.”
• “I fear taking risks because I will fail.”
• “Just when I start to succeed, everything turns to garbage.”

Beliefs about Meaning

Possible belief language: “x” means “y;” “is” (“x” = “y”)

Leadership examples of “meaning beliefs”:

• “Company growth is stressful.”
• “Holding people accountable means I will have to deal with conflict.”
• “Being a leader is hard.”
• “My boss’ high pitch tone means I’ve done something wrong.”

Beliefs about Identity 

Possible belief language:  “I am …”  or other types of “I” language

Leadership examples of “identity beliefs”:

• “I don’t deserve to succeed.”
• “I am a perfectionist.”
• “I am worthless.”
• “I will always be this way.”

Identity beliefs are the deepest and hardest to uncover as they are rarely worded as above.   Detecting them requires probing questions and listening to the language and context.  Yet change at the identity level is profound and typically a crucial area in leadership change work.

Let’s look at one quick way to change your limited beliefs into empowering alternatives that move you forward.

Change Your Sabotaging Beliefs.  Unleash Your Leadership Potential.

Achieving a complete leadership breakthrough around beliefs most often requires 1-1 work.  The reason is that each individual stores a belief in their mind with different internal representations – ie., the sounds, feelings and the pictures you associate with that belief.  With each individual, I have to “unpack” the structure of his/her belief below the surface in order to “rewire” a new belief.

With the following technique, however, I can help you loosen the grip that a belief has on you in this moment so you can move into action.  The belief may not be completely gone although this technique will start the change process.

The ultimate goal of any belief change work is to transform the old disempowering belief into a new empowering belief … at the neurological level.  Beliefs are commands to your nervous system and it is on that level that the change needs to occur to be permanent.

Here’s how to shift your sabotaging beliefs in 1 minute or less.

Let’s say that you have the following disempowering leadership belief …

“I can’t coach my team because I don’t have the time.” 

The new empowering belief that you want is …

“I find the time to coach my team and complete all my other priorities.” 

With your disempowering belief, you have 100% certainty.   In your mind, it is fact.  With your new empowering belief, you have 0% certainty, or 100% uncertainty. In fact, it will seem impossible.

The goal of belief change work is to flip flop those numbers, so your empowering belief has much greater certainty than the disempowering belief.

This technique revolves around the following 5 words in the given sequence.  The words will be bridged together shortly in a couple of sentences to open your mind to new possibilities.

NOTE:  Keep in mind the sentence will confuse your conscious mind … and that is intentional.  New possibilities are being planted as your conscious mind – which resists accepting the new belief — goes into confusion.  Such confusion starts to break down the neurology around the old belief.

1. “Can’t”

(disempowering belief – certainty)

            2.  “Could”

     (possibility)

            3.  “Can”

                  (capability)

                        4.  “Maybe”

                             (probability)

                 5.  “Won’t” or “Will” or “Want”

                                          (empowering belief – new certainty)

These 5 words are essentially moving you from certainty that “you can’t do something” to different degrees of uncertainty about your new belief, then back to certainty but this time with your new belief.  This process is based on Rob Ballantine’s principle of certainty.

For our example disempowering and the new empowering belief, here’s one way to bridge the words to create a shift.

Possible Belief Change Verbiage:

“I know you can’t find the time to coach your team (plug in your disempowering belief) yet.  If you could, how can you think about this so you may be able to do this in the future.  Won’t you begin to wonder how to do this now?”

That’s all there is to it!  Now it’s your turn.

Step 1:  Identify a sabotaging belief (beginning with words “I can’t …)  and the empowering belief you want instead.

Step 2:  Find a partner and say your disempowering belief to that person.

Step 3:  Have your partner say the above belief change verbiage, plugging in your disempowering belief as indicated.  Ideally, your partner’s pace should start slow and then speed up as he/she recites the second sentence.

If you can’t find a partner, you can do this process with yourself.  I suggest going through this 3 step process a few times to deepen your sense of new possibilities.

At the end, notice the difference in your state … the difference in your experience of the old belief … the difference in your openness to a new outcome.

To summarize, start to detect your sabotaging leadership beliefs through your language. Then run one of those limiting leadership beliefs through the 5 word chaining process, as scripted above.

Voila! You are on your way to moving through the big brick wall in your mind … with no effort.   Relish in the new possibilities for yourself with this new technique.  They are endless.

___________________________________

Denise Corcoran – CEO, The Empowered Business^TM – helps growth-seeking companies develop game-changing leadership teams and organizations that drive and sustain profitable growth by design.   Denise can be reached at denise@empoweredbusiness.com or www.empoweredbusiness.com.

The post How Leaders Break Through Sabotaging Beliefs … Rapidly appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Does any of these sound familiar?

• You aspire to achieve great things, yet stay “small” for fear of failing.

• What about the thousands of dollars you’ve invested in leadership books and training, yet still find yourself stuck in the same rut and don’t know how to get out?

• Are you continuously swamped by the endless hours that your role demands, yet get diminishing returns from all your efforts?

You are not alone.   Most leaders harbor fears, negative thoughts and emotions that seriously undermine their achievements.  Here is one such story.

How One High Performing Leader Was Sabotaging His Own Potential 

About 10 years ago, I worked with a leader being groomed to become President of a fast growing company.  He was ambitious, smart and a quick learner.  He thrived on achieving big goals and was the high performing potential that every CEO dies for.

From outside appearances, there was nothing stopping him to take the company to the next level.  Or was there?

The CEO asked me to coach this new leader around becoming a team player.  His behaviors at executive meetings gave the appearance that his personal agenda was more important than the team/company agenda.

The truth was …  his personal agenda was more important at that time. In his mind, sacrificing his desires for team goals meant not achieving personal success.  He was stuck in “either-or” thinking and that was preventing him from gaining the trust and credibility of his team.

While your limiting leadership beliefs may be different, what you do have in common is that nothing will change unless you change on the inside first. External change by itself – ie., behaviors, actions or skills/knowledge — is never the solution.

While change is a multilevel complex process, this leader needed to change on the belief level to realize a rapid breakthrough. 

Because beliefs are powerful thought patterns that drive your emotions, behaviors and action, this article will focus on belief change, although it’s not the only type of change that may be needed.

No leadership or organizational goal can be achieved without the right beliefs in place.   First, let’s take a quick look at the basics of the inner change.

A Simple (but not easy) Formula for Leadership Change

When addressing limited beliefs, the goal is to move you from your present state (problem) to your desired state (goal).  However, inner interference – your internal terrorists — hijack your best efforts to achieve your desired outcome.

Present (Problem) State  +  Resource  =  Desired Change

  ↑   ↑   ↑

Interference

                               (Limited Beliefs or Inner Conflicts)

For you to achieve your desired state/change, the following conditions must be present:

• You must want to change.  

This condition relates to desirability and confidence.  You must be 100% congruent with the change or goal you are seeking.

• You must know how to change.

You must believe that you have the capability to produce desired results.

• You must believe it is possible for you to achieve your desired state and that you deserve to achieve it.

You need to be willing to give yourself time for the change to happen and to integrate the learnings.   You must also believe you are worthy of achieving this outcome.

When these 3 conditions are present, leadership breakthroughs can happen … in an instant.  When one or more conditions are absent, then  you must change some aspect of your mental map to achieve a breakthrough.  That’s where belief work comes in.

How Changing Your Leaders’ Beliefs Changes Company Results

Beliefs are not innocent things.  They are unconscious strongly held convictions that you believe are true and fact, yet they are neither.  They are judgments about yourself, about others and about the world.  They are the lens through which you view everything.  They …

• Influence your perception
• Skew your perspective and decision making in positive and negative ways
• Direct an/or limit your actions
• Shape your character in effective and ineffective ways
• Create the boundary conditions of your thinking
• Drive all behaviors, emotions and subjective experiences

“If you want to uncover your beliefs, just look at your results. “

Your leadership beliefs are the power source for your company’s results and for the culture you’ve created in the present. 

The question is: are those the results and culture you really want?

You say you have a compelling vision.   Do you believe it is possible?

You say you have core values.   Do you have beliefs conflicting with those values that drive different choices and actions?

You say employees matter.  Do you make them feel appreciated, recognized and heard?

You say that you put customers first.  Do they believe it?

 Are your results matching what you say you want?   If not, it may have nothing to do with the words you are saying; it could be that your employees may not believe them.

In the end, you have one of two choices.

Either you can keep going as you are and live with your current problems OR you can kick those sabotaging beliefs to the curb for good.  If you chose the later, read on.

Types of Beliefs Every Leader Needs to Know About

All beliefs can be categorized into one of three types.  Knowing how each type effects you and your organization is crucial to the change process.

1. Beliefs about Cause

We all have beliefs about cause.  They are reflected in your goals, plans, actions and decisions.

Beliefs about cause are implied in the form … “X” causes “y.”  Let’s take a look at examples.

What do you believe …

• Are the traits of great leaders?
• Drives high performance in an organization?
• Motivates employees?
• Is the reason for your unrealized goals?
• Makes your company successful or not successful?

Whether you realize it or not, these are all beliefs.  Not facts.  Not truth.  Simply beliefs. 

They may not even be your beliefs.  Many of your leadership beliefs, especially about cause, come from books, workshops, other leaders, etc.   Taking on those beliefs may or may not serve you and the results you want.

The point is … as a leader, you must challenge every belief about “what causes what” to realize different outcomes.

2.  Beliefs about Meaning

Our brains are meaning-making machines.  We give meaning to past and current experiences, behaviors (ours and others’), communications (words and non-verbal), etc.

Beliefs about meaning are implied in the form … “x” means “y.”  Let’s take a look at examples.

• What does it mean that your profits have declined for the last 3 months?
• Does it mean you have to cut staff?
• Does it mean you’ve failed?
• What does it mean that an employee has not met your expectations?
• Does it mean they are unmotivated?
• Does it mean you did not communicate clearly?

Beliefs about meaning result in behaviors congruent with that belief.  For example, if profits fell and you believe it was from a bad decision, you will hold back in future decisions or taking necessary risks.

3.  Beliefs about Identity

Beliefs about identity include cause, meaning and boundaries.  When you change beliefs about your identity, it means that somehow you are/will be a different person.

Changing beliefs at the identity level is one of the most profound breakthroughs you can experience. It transforms who you are at your core and every aspect of your life.

Let’s look at examples.

• What causes you to do something as a leader?
• Do you see yourself as competent leader?
• Do you believe you don’t deserve to succeed?
• To hold your employees accountable, do you believe you have to become a dictator or control freak?
• Do you fear that you won’t be liked by your employees if you take tough actions or make tough decisions.

To summarize … beliefs may be beliefs of cause, meaning or identity.  They may be about the world around you (eg., experiences or other people) or about yourself and your identity.

Beliefs are unconscious habitual thought processes that either undermine you or enhance you and your desired outcomes.

Nest step … Read the companion article — How Leaders Breakthrough Sabotaging Beliefs … With Velocity –  to learn how to detect limiting beliefs and simple ways for changing them to experience a rapid leadership breakthrough.

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