The Secret Groundwork to an Extraordinary 2016

A new year is just around the corner.  Another year is about to end.

Be honest with yourself …

·      Are you feeling tired, stressed or depressed?

·      Are you feeling disconnected from what really matters to you?

·      Are you feeling like you have lost your way, not even realizing it?

In my experience, when December hits, many leaders are burned out and depleted.  They are running on empty.

And understandably so.  The demands on a leader’s energy and attention throughout the year are endless.   I’ve been there myself.  I know.

Since that time, I have learned to make December a transition month.  Not only to prepare for the new year.  Also to revitalize my spirit and reconnect to the fire within.

This article provides you with 3 critical leadership steps for transitioning from the end of this year to 2016.   Let’s first address what are transitions.

What Are Transitions?  Why Are They Important to Leadership Growth?

Think of a transition like the period at the end of sentence.  It’s a pause.  It ends one sentence and creates a bridge to the next sentence.

Transitions are a natural important part of leadership growth, whether you realize it or not.  Some are by choice.  Some come from natural endings – like the end of a year, the end of a project, etc.

The problem is that leaders are often such doers, high initiative individuals, that they ignore or avoid transition periods, even though they are essential to your next level of growth.

Leadership breakthroughs can only happen in the pauses.   In transition periods.

These periods …

·      Provide the needed space for defining new directions in your leadership role.

·      Can revitalize your spirit and leadership fire

·      Reground you to what really matters.

·      Clears out the internal/external clutter that holds you back

3 Steps for Preparing for an Extraordinary 2016

Step 1:  Closures, Completions and Letting Go

Imagine a blackboard cluttered everywhere with writing. Not only will it be impossible to decipher the contents.  There will be little room for anything new.

The same is true with yourself and your organization.   Many leaders start the new year with excessive “energetic clutter” that will hold them back, if not addressed.

Below are 3 leadership areas for decluttering prior to the new year.

1.    Get closure on “unfinished business.”

“Unfinished business” is those items that consume your physical, mental and emotional energy and require closure to free up your wasted energy. For example,

·      What projects or goals have you started this year that you neither completed nor are working on?

·      What communications have you not delivered that needs to be completed– whether it be to a peer, employee, customer, etc.?

·      What clutter do you need to get rid of or file from your desk, office or email box?

2.    Eliminate “energy drains”

“Energy drains” are people, places, activities or procedures that undermine your effectiveness, violate your integrity standards or “cost” you or your company in some fashion.  For example,

·      What boundaries do you need to set with difficult customers costing you excessive time, your values (or company values) or resources?

·      What actions or projects do you need to stop doing and/or delegate to others?

·      Where are you tolerating underperformance or violations in behavior norms that needs to be dealt with?

3.    “What’s wrong with this picture?”

These areas include where you are out of integrity with yourself, your desires or your sense of fulfillment.  For example,

·      What strategies, behaviors, attitudes and/or beliefs that created success in the past are now obsolete and blocking your future leadership growth?

·      What things this year did you want to be that you’re not being?

·      What things did you want to do or start that you’re not doing?

·      What things did you want to change that you’re not changing?

·      What things have you done yet not acknowledged yourself for doing them?

December is a natural transition time to complete, eliminate or take inventory and action around current leadership “clutter” areas.

Whether you realize it or not, the unresolved past will not only weigh you down and undermine your leadership performance.  It is also the biggest contributor of your current stresses, internal conflicts and lack of motivation.

Whether it’s 20 minutes a day till end of the year or taking larger blocks of time away from the office, answer the above questions to start the new year clear, rejuvenated and at the top of your game.

Step 2:  Imagining a New Compelling Leadership Story

With each new year, leaders take time to look at their individual and organizational goals and visions.  There are many positive benefits to doing so.

Where most such efforts fail or are ineffective, however, is in 2 areas.

1.    Visions and goals are often extrapolated from the past and/or present (the known), rather than created from the future (the unknown).

2.    Developing visions and goals is often a forced intellectual exercise, rather than a creative, passionate and emerging exploration of new possibilities.

You will know you are ready for Step 2 when you feel connected to the part of yourself that knows your destiny.  When your mind’s eye starts to give you images, sounds and feelings of the leader you are about to become.

True visions emerge.  They pull your energy forward.  They are neither forced nor what you expect.

Your old way of being as a leader will simply seem wrong.  You are giving birth to a new vision of yourself as a leader.

To get your imagination going, fill out the matrix below for the new year as sequenced as follows.  Think in terms of behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, qualities, accomplishments or whatever else is important to you for the new year.

Lower Left Quadrant:  What you don’t want and don’t have

These are your non-negotiables.

Example:  You don’t want to unethical and you currently are not unethical.

 Lower Right Quadrant:  What you don’t want yet have.

These are the things you want to eliminate or let go of.

The trick with this quadrant is to convert all the “don’t wants yet haves” to their opposites (or what you do want instead).  Why?

Because the brain reinforces the very thing you no longer want.  The brain is unable to process the word not.

Example:  You don’t want stress yet you have it.

So what’s the opposite of not wanting stress?  That is, what do you want instead.  Peace?  Calmness?  Focus?  Centeredness?

Incorporate these opposites into the last quadrant (want/don’t have).

Upper Right Quadrant:  What you want and have.

These are the things you want to keep/preserve.  This is your gratitude list.

Example:  I want to start my day with a plan and am currently starting my day with a plan.

Upper Left Quadrant:  What you want yet don’t have.

These are your desires.  Your BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

Example:  I want to have strong accountability in my organization yet don’t currently have it.

Once you have filled out this matrix fully, imagine what your days will be like in the new year, having what you want (and eliminating what you don’t want).

This is a critical step.   Write out your new leadership story in present tense.

It should start with the words … “It is now December 30, 2016.  I am/have … (then write your new leadership narrative).

Step 3:  Testing for 100% Congruency.

At this point, you have completed all your unfinished business from the past year and have written a new leadership vision for 2016.

However, you are NOT done yet.  In my experience of working with leaders, Step 3 is the most critical (to realize your new goals and vision) yet rarely done.

The #1 reason why you did not realize your goals and vision this year is because you were not 100% congruent (on an unconscious level).  You wanted the goals yet …

You had your foot on the brake and accelerator at the same time. 

Denise Corcoran

Below are some questions to test for 100% congruency.

·      What might you lose if you achieve your vision or goals?

·      What are the possible benefits or secondary gains of not realizing your vision?

·      What might achieving your vision cost you?  Is it worth the cost?

·      On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your belief that you will achieve your vision?   Or that you have the capabilities to achieve it?

·      Do your new leadership goals conflict with other goals in your life?

·      When, where and with whom do you want to achieve your new goals?  (For example, if you want to be more assertive as a leader, is it ecological to do that in all situations and with all people?)

Without 100% congruency, your leadership vision will not only NOT be compelling.  You will unconsciously sabotage yourself from not achieving it.   Is that what you really want?

Bottomline:  Take time in December to follow these 3 steps to prepare for a groundbreaking new year in your leadership growth.

If you find yourself stuck in the process, click on the box in the right margin and sign up for a complimentary Leadership Strategy Session.  I have only 3 openings in December.  Sign up before it’s too late!

The post Re-Igniting Your Leadership Fire appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Your company is growing and has gained recognition and success.  Your culture and employees are thriving and you are so proud of everyone’s accomplishments.

Yet …

you feel something is missing.  You can’t put your finger on what.  After all, it’s been a challenging journey.  In many ways, you and your organization have arrived at its desired destination.

How could something be missing?

Guess what?

You are not alone.

That gnawing feeling of something missing is a positive thing.  It’s a sign your soul is stirring …

To something greater than your role and your company.  To a grander purpose.

You are becoming an awakener.

In today’s ever increasing complexity and change, you are being called to operate at a new level of consciousness.  To transcend your mission statement, competition and engagement practices.

Are ready to make that leap?

What Is a Leadership Awakener?

I am not a teacher, but an awakener.

Robert Frost

Most leaders’ roles and identities evolve.  Let’s take a look at one natural progression of a leader’s role.  Every role is important.

1.   Coach

Traditional coaching focuses on behavior.  The goal of a leader as coach is to improve the behavior of his/her team.

When leaders assume the role of coach, they are observing and giving feedback.  For example – coaching someone how to communicate more respectfully to teammates.

2.   Teacher

Teaching focuses on cognitive skills and capabilities.

A leader wearing the hat of teacher focuses on building  competencies and thinking capabilities – such as how to read a P&L statement or presentation skills.

3.   Mentor

Coaches and teachers focus on the external aspects of performance.  Mentors, however, focus on the internal aspects – ie., employees’ beliefs and values.

A leader wearing the hat of mentor focuses on influencing a person’s beliefs and values in a positive way – such as, believing in him/herself.

4.   Awakener

While awakening is definitely not a common term within organizations, leaders who operate at a high level of consciousness and being are the awakeners in the business world.

A leader as an awakener operates at the level of spirit or Higher Self.   Such leaders have the capacity to transcend their own mental maps (beliefs, values, identity) and connect with a greater Force within themselves and others.

Leadership Awakeners are the Game Changers of the World.

Are you ready to make the leap?

Leadership awakeners think differently. Perceive differently.  Decide differently.  Here are 3 (among many) distinctions.

As an awakener …

You View the Organization as a Hologram

What the heck is a hologram?!

A hologram is a 3 dimensional representation created with the use of a laser using a process called holography.

The fascinating property of holograms is that you can cut it up in tiny pieces and actually create the whole from a single part.

Not only does the whole contain all the parts.  Every part contains information about the whole.

WOW!!  Isn’t that mind blowing?!

The implications to an organization are huge!   The concept of a hologram says that every function … every product/service … every employee contains within it information about your entire company.

Nelson Mandela used this principle in transforming South Africa. He knew that the greatest chance of unifying the country was not through a top-down approach of sweeping changes.

Rather, that unity (the whole) would come from his relentless support of the country’s all white rugby team (a part) in the World Cup.  He rightly assumed that victory would unify the country.  The rest is history.

Applying the holographic property can accelerate success within your company.  Let’s look at 2 examples.

If you are like most leaders, you use a top-down approach in planning or envisioning your future.  That is, you take the whole and you break it into parts.  That approach has merit in certain contexts.

What if … with your next strategic plan, you instead take a bottoms up approach, using the holographic principle?

What if … you were to improve the weakest link in your organization (eg., competencies or efficiencies) and made that the focus of your strategic plan?

How would that one small change impact the performance of the entire organization?

How about applying the holographic principle to problem-solving?

What if … the next time your team solves a customer service or process problem, you focus on solving the bigger organizational issue – such as lack of cohesive teams? 

What would that do to your profitability, productivity and quality?

You See Competition as an Illusion

In our Western culture, we obsess about beating our competition and becoming the best.

That obsession shows in our love for “Best ____” lists and awards.  Fortune’s Top 100 Companies, 50 Best Places to Work for, Inc. 500/5000 and Top 40 Under 40 to name a few.

While competition can be a blessing, fueling higher standards and innovation.   It can equally be a curse.

It conditions you to think in terms of winning and losing or a zero sum game.  Those leaders who operate from a win/lose paradigm can’t see another way.

The truth is …

Competition is an illusion.

You will never win long term with this paradigm.  However, there is a more optimal paradigm from which leaders can operate.

John Nash –- behavioral economist and Nobel Prize recipient – is best known for advancing game theory and the equilibrium principle.

In simple terms, his work showed that …

the best result comes when everyone in a group (team, market, etc.) does what’s best for themselves and for the group.

His findings say that when your company works TOGETHER with — not against – your “competitors,” you ALL will be better off than if you worked at cross-purposes with each other.

Example:  Toyota and BMW have collaborated to create an environmentally friendly luxury car.  They shared costs and knowledge for electric car battery research.  BMW supplied diesel engines to Toyota.  Everybody won, especially the customer.

How might collaborating with a competitor reduce delivery times and costs, open up new markets or strengthen your position rather than weaken it?

Below are additional resources and examples to delve further about collaborating with competitors.

Collaborate with Your Competitors … and Win, 

Friendly Competition:  Competitors Collaborate  (video)

You Know That Perceived Limitations Are Wake-Up Calls

Stop for a moment.  Take inventory of ways you and/or your organization …

·      Struggle or effort

·      Feel fear when your customers or the economy slow down

·      Have hit a ceiling in growth, profits or performance

·      Don’t have money or time for critical projects

Your perceived limitations are your own creation.  Not consciously though.  You are stuck in the limiting confines of your own thinking.

Attribution: Canstock.com

When you hit such limits, you tend to panic at the edge between the known and unknown.  You fight for certainty and control.  Yet more knowledge, analyses and busyness are NOT the answer.

To transcend these limitations, you must awaken to another reality.  The world of Potentiality.  The world of unbounded possibilities.

In this new awakened state, you tap into a greater Force within yourself and beyond yourself.  You fear no challenge.  You are immune to criticism.  Self-power – or knowledge of Self — becomes your true source of power.

The question is … how do you awaken that part?

Here are 2 ways:

1.  Practice “not knowing”

Exploring the unknown opens the door to unlimited creativity and possibilities.

Start with a question or concern.  Let go of all knowledge, assumptions and ready answers.  Adopt a beginner’s mind.  Openness, curiosity, inquiry, reflection and learning are essential.  Take time to explore what you don’t know.  What new possibilities emerge from “not knowing?”

When practicing “not knowing,” you transcend fear of the unknown and engage in new possibilities.  You are excited about opportunities the unknown presents.

2.  Transcend your own mental maps

Your mental map are unconscious filters – beliefs, values, identity, etc. – that drive focus and perception.  These maps ARE the boundary conditions of your thinking.

When I work with leaders, my first goal is to uncover their mental maps.  Then change them to expand possibilities within themselves and then within others.  Because there is no set procedure, there are no steps I can give you for that change.

However, even if it is for a few brief moments initially, you can learn to transcend your mental maps.

Get quiet.   Go to that place within yourself where there are no fears.   No limiting beliefs.  No internal conflicts.  Trust your higher Self to take you there.  You will know you are there because you feel a sense of peace and ultimately pure silence.  It’s from that place new possibilities emerge.

Summary

The ultimate calling of a leader is to awaken the grander purpose and possibilities within themselves and then their employees.

Becoming a leadership awakener is the highest level of consciousness from which you can lead.  You transcend the mental maps, knowledge and expertise that limit your potential.  You lead from a level of spirit that knows no boundaries.

Life and work take on new meaning.  Struggles become a thing of the past.  You are at peace even in the midst of turmoil.

The question is …

Are ready to make that leap?

The post Real Leaders Become Awakeners appeared first on The Empowered Business.

How are you?

Busy? Relaxed? Energized? Tired?

I notice a pattern in modern life. I’m going too fast and packing too much in my days. I’m hunting for stimuli – or at least I’m distracted by them. I notice restlessness when I’m already tired. I see most people around me living by schedules that don’t leave space to slow down and to be mindfully aware of what really happens. How do you wake up to the present?

I’m lucky, though. Since I am self-employed, I can schedule time for contemplation. I know that I need some time for silence – to be my best self again when I work with clients. When I’m going too fast – I am less awake, less present in the moment.

So I’ve started an experiment. My intention is to follow my energy as much as possible – what do I feel like doing now? What gives me pleasure? What do I need at this moment?

Let’s wise up and go with the flow.

Let’s see if and how my experiences and results change when I give more attention to what I’m doing right now, with mindfulness. What emerges if I let go of attachment to outcomes and SMART goals?

For instance, my intention is to create something new (it’s been stewing and brewing for a while) but I’m not going to translate that into a target up front, like: “Finish my next book by the summer”.

Trust this moment

I’m going to BE with whatever is present – instead of only focusing on everything I must DO. I’m going to trust that things will work out – instead of fearing that I won’t get enough done when I follow my energy and needs.

I’m curious to see what emerges, or what important clues I get (that I may have missed in my busy-doing mindset) when I’ll be more mindful. It feels like an adventurous journey – in a way it’s letting go of (the illusion of) planning and control. I’m tired of trying to force reality into my mould according to schedules and goals.

Can you BE present instead of focusing on everything you must DO? 

What if I was more open and trusting toward reality? I have my intentions – but let’s see what happens when I travel in that direction: listening, feeling, sensing, checking, learning whether I’m aligned with what is present.

Let’s “wise up” and go with the flow – if there is any. Or wait ashore, if there is no flow, temporarily. The tide will eventually rise again – and until it does – why not enjoy your quiet time at the beach?

How do you satisfy your need for introversion, contemplation, quiet time?

People don’t learn from experience. We learn from reflection on experience. Regarding going too fast, consider this: There are three times to wake up: never, afterwards or while it is happening. As Eckhart Tolle says:

“Don’t ask, how long can I stay awake?
Rather count how many times you woke up.”

• How do you help yourself to wake up?
• How are you? What’s your energy and needs at this moment?
• How does your day change when you acknowledge them?

Marcella Bremer co-founded this Leadership & Change Blog and OCAI-online.com. She’s an author and culture & change consultant.  Check out Marcella’s digital magazine issues, white papers, videos, interviews and articles about positive leadership, culture, change and new organizations.  http://www.leadershipandchangemagazine.com

The post Are You Awake? appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Fears keeping you small

All leaders have fears.  However, not all your fears are created equal.

Some may manifest as low level anxieties.  Some are life paralyzing phobias.  Some may be triggered only by certain events – like fear of public speaking.  Others may be life-long fears.

Then there are the “big guns.”  These are the core unconscious leadership  fears from which all other fears come.  They override every aspect of your being.

In this article you will learn 7 unconscious leadership fears that keep you small.  First, it’s important to understand the nature of fear.

3 Truths About Fear Every Leader Needs to Know

1.     Fear is indestructible. 

Your brain is wired for fear. It is essential for your physical survival.  You want fear to send you signals when you are in danger, in an unsafe situation or about to make a high stakes mistake. Fear is your friend in those circumstances.

2.     Fear comes from a mental construct. 

Fear is a byproduct of your thoughts.  Your fear thoughts are mental constructs – meaning they have no basis in reality. As the saying goes, fear is “false evidence appearing real.”

The emotion of fear is real.  The content of your fear — your thoughts — is not real.  In your mind, though, you believe that your fear thoughts are reality.

To free yourself of such fear, you need to dislodge the mental constructs which drive fear.  Fear thoughts are of your own making and they can be unmade.

3.     Fearlessness does not exist.

Are you a leader that fantasizes about the day when you will be free of all fear?

Guess what?  It’s not going to happen.  Buying into the belief of fearlessness is a trap.  It’s an impossible goal to reach!  Even those who have achieved extraordinary feats have fear.

Your goal should not be to eliminate all fear.  Rather it should be, as one author wrote, to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Below are 7 core unconscious leadership fears you want to know about.  They are hijacking your leadership success and potential.

7 Unconscious Leadership Fears That Keep You Small

As a leader, you will be plagued by thousands of fears in your role.  You will have surface fears – such as fear of public speaking or holding employees accountable.

Then there are the deep unconscious leadership fears that enslave you until you break free.

1.     Fear of fear itself

Being a leader is demanding, high stakes work.  It stretches every ounce of your being.  It tests your strength of courage, perseverance and resilience.

The demands can be so great and the fear so paralyzing that the only way of getting relief is to put your head in the sand and pretend fear does not exist.  In those circumstances, your dominating fear is of fear itself.

In the short term, pretending you have no fear to move forward with your goals and actions can actually be a healthy choice.

In the long term, however, the fears you are avoiding will sabotage your every attempt to play a bigger leadership game.

2.     Fear of (owning your) power

All leaders are powerful yet few know how powerful they really are.  True personal power (or lack of it) determines whether you show up on the cause or effects side of your outcomes equation.

Being at the effects side means you believe that things happen to you.  That you have little or no control on your outcomes.

When you own your leadership power, you believe that …

You are at cause for all the results in your life.

If you fear power, it is because you are conflicted about it.  You have negative associations or beliefs about what power means.

The truth is that you can’t fully contribute your leadership gifts and talents if you fear owning your own leadership power.

3.     Fear of “being found out”

Within every person, there are 3 selves — a Pretend Self, a Feared Self and an Authentic Self.  Your Pretend Self  is that part of you that feels a need to hide behind an imaginary mask.

You don’t want others to know that you feel inadequate in your leadership role.  You don’t feel as though you’re smart enough, experienced enough, confident enough (fill in the blank) to be in your leadership role.

You take on other personas out of fear of being “found out.”  You put on a strong face – pretending to have it all together – when deep inside you feel like a fraud.

When you pretend to be someone you are not, you can never be your authentic powerful self.

4.     Fear of sharing your power

The world of leadership is filled with paradoxes.  One of those paradoxes is about power.

To be an exceptional leader, you must own your personal power (as addressed in #2).  Doing so allows you to take charge of your own individual outcomes and be an example to others.

However, once a leader owns their power, he/she tends to hoard it – such as making all the decisions, resolving all conflicts, leading all meetings, etc.  You hoard power because you fear loss of importance and lack of control if you share it.

Yet for a company to flourish, power must be distributed and shared throughout the organization.  This means developing employees as personal leaders within their own roles and teams.  Allowing them to make decisions within their own scope.  Giving them the tools and know-how to resolve their own conflicts.

5.     Fear of Truth

Reality is truth.  Yet our brains are not capable of knowing 100% reality.  The reason … your brain can only process less than 1%  all the sensory data at any moment of time.

Your sense of reality — or perceived reality – comes from your beliefs, your sense of identity, your model of the world and so forth.  You become so attached to your own sense of reality, that you avoid new information (truth) that conflicts with your current (limited) thinking.

By no means is fear of truth exclusive to leaders.  However, avoidance of  truth can have dire consequences to leaders and their organizations. Your actions and decisions are driven by cognitive biases and those biases can be costly.

For example, success often blinds leaders and prevents them from seeing the truth of a looming future ahead.

6.     Fear of losing the known

For your company to grow, leaders must move into foreign territories where they have no prior experience.  In those situations, you don’t have a mental flashlight to guide you.  That can be scary.

In reality, it’s NOT your fear of the unknown that stops you.  After all, how can you fear something you don’t even know about?!

What you really fear is …

Fear of losing (or letting go) of the known

As you grow to new leadership levels, the new possibilities can be endless.  Yet seldom does your mind see these new changes as amazing opportunities.  Instead, you …

·      Fear losing your sense of safety when making a leap

·      Fear letting go of current routines and habits that give you predictability

·      Fear letting go of who you are for who you can be

7.     Fear of your own brilliance

While it is a rare leader who hasn’t dreamed of standing on the shoulders of giants, boldly stepping out and realizing your own greatness is a scary proposition.

Yes, the majority of leaders fear their own brilliance.

How do I know?

I observe it in such behaviors as …

·      Getting caught up in distractions – such as, always looking at your cell phone

·      Mindless activities

·      Chasing the externals to make you feel good about yourself.

Being visible in the world … rising above mediocrity … standing in the light of your authentic self, that takes radical courage.

Fear does not have rule you.  The key is to know how to dislodge it.

Dislodge Your Unconscious Leadership Fears in 5 Minutes 

Step1:  Name your fear.

To break the hold of your fear, first name it.  Boil it down to a single word – like SeenAsFake.

Step 2:  Personify your fear.

For example, if you fear fear itself, perhaps you personify it as a big black monster.  If you fear power, perhaps you imagine it as Hitler or mean sergeant.

Step 3:  ID visual and auditory associations with your fear persona (identified in #2).

When you think of your fear persona …

·      What’s the characteristics of the picture?  Black and white or colored?  Large or small?  Near or far?

·      What does he/she/it sound like?  Deep or high voice?   Fast or slow pace?  Loud or soft?

Step 4:  Change the identified associations above to their opposites to transform your fear. 

For example,

·      If your fear picture is black/white, large and near, change it to color, small and far.

·      If your fear voice has a low pitch, loud volume and slow pace, change it to high pitch, low volume and fast pace.

That’s it!  With this simple 4 step process, your fear will transform from a roar to a whisper.

Want to know more secrets how to rise to the top of your leadership game? 

Sign up for our free report below — Wired to Win Big:  7 Inner Game Leadership Strategies to Rise to the Top and Stay There.  The only game you ever need to win is the game within your mind!

The post 7 Unconscious Leadership Fears That Keep You Small appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Can your body language …

• Make a difference in commanding leadership authority?
• Create trust or mistrust within an organization?
• Change your emotions after a stressful day?

Absolutely!!

Leadership authority is a by-product of 2 related aspects of yourself – your physiology and your emotional state. Call them the yin and yang of leadership authority.

The purpose of this article is NOT to give you a list of gestures, postures or leadership do’s and don’ts to communicate authority. Your emotions and your body language are both driven by your mind. And your mind is too complex for such generalizations.

An effective gesture in one context may backfire in another context. A smile may uplift people in certain situations. A smile when someone is angry however may escalate more anger.

The goal of this article is to teach you how to use your body language for communicating leadership authority, building deep trust and even changing your emotional state. Your body language can enhance or destroy your business relationships and influence on others. Let’s look at why.

The Mind Body Leadership Connection

A physiology of confidence is different than a physiology of worry. Your emotions follow your physiology by responding to tension levels, breath rate, speed of movement and your focus. On the other end, scientists now know that different emotions have a clear physiological response shown through your body language.

For example, anger can be detected through such body signals as leaning forward, flushed face and invasion of someone else’s space. Fear often triggers a dry mouth, holding one’s breath, lack of eye contact and other “fight or flight” signals.

You can also intentionally alter your emotional state by altering your physiology. For example, taking a few deep breaths can transform anxiety and stress to relaxation and clarity in an instant.

Create your physiology of leadership.

Have you ever attended a Tony Robbins’ event? If you have, you know that Tony Robbins is Mr. Physiology himself.

Firewalk Steve Gamage (flickr)

He is a master at energizing thousands of people for long 18-20 hour days non-stop. He is a master at teaching participants – scared out of their minds — to walk over hot coals by putting “mind over matter.” His magic?

He builds into your neurology a new physiology to change your state of mind. All that dancing on the stage is for a reason. Pumping your fist in the air … yes, that’s intentional too.  From my involvement in a number of his programs, I learned I can change my emotions in an instant by changing my physiology.

Want to feel more passion? Move more rapidly. Speak more rapidly. Model the physiology of the most passionate people you know.

Want to interrupt anxiety or fear? Look up at the sky, smile and say the made up mantra “cool moss.” The latter is just to distract your mind from thinking fear thoughts.

Want to show authority? Stand tall with feet shoulder width apart and weight equally balanced.   Because authority is nonverbally communicated through height and space, the taller you appear and the more room you occupy, the more you look like you are in command. Remember also to own your space as addressed in Unleashing your Leadership Presence.

The work that Tony Robbins has been doing for decades is now backed by science.

According to researchers at Columbia and Harvard Universities, body language symbolizing power can actually affect leadership decision-making. Those who stood in power poses not only felt more powerful and in control. They were 45% more likely to take risks.

Purposefully expand your posture and you will alter your hormone levels – decreasing cortisol and increasing testosterone. A lower cortisol means lower stress. Higher testosterone means higher energy and an improved mood.

Takeaway: One small change in posture can trigger significant changes in how you feel and what you do.

Create instant trust and influence with your body language.

When you look at charismatic leaders, they have one skill in common – the ability to create deep rapport. Rapport is essential for any meaningful communications to take place — whether between a leader and a peer, between a boss and employee, between a leader and the entire organization.

Anything is possible in the presence of rapport.

Nothing is possible without it.

Dr. Milton Erickson

There is no leadership influence or trust without rapport. Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone and sensing disconnection when they did not respond? It’s uncomfortable not to have rapport with someone. Now you can change all that with rapport building skills, as outlined in this article.

First, however, we need to define what rapport IS and IS NOT. Let’s clarify the common myths about rapport.

Rapport IS …

• Deep unconscious connection with another that creates understanding and trust.
• Appreciating (not necessarily agreeing with) another’s perspective.
• Understanding and accepting another’s feelings.
• A form of influence

Rapport IS NOT about …

• Liking someone
• Small talk
• Similar interests
• Accepting what someone says or does. 

The above means that you can have rapport with someone and not even like them. You can have rapport with someone while disagreeing with them. You can have rapport without needing to create small talk.

People in rapport experience a resonance with each other. They adopt the same posture, gestures, head tilt and rate of breathing. When one leans, the other leans too. All of this body language matching is happening below their conscious awareness.

Step 1: Set an intention of win/win.

The first step is to set an intention for a win/win outcome with someone you would like to build rapport.  Because matching and mirroring physiology (or even written communications) is so powerful for building rapport, it should never be used for manipulative reasons.

Step 2: Match physiology.

Pick at lease one aspect of that person’s physiology you would like to match until you sense rapport.

Below are a few options.

• Smile
• Arms or legs crossed
• Siting back or forward
• Source of breath – chest, under the diaphragm or in the belly
• Rate of breath
• Eye contact
• Eye brows raised
• Tilting of head or body
• Sitting slouched or upright

Credit: PA Photos/Landov

By matching someone’s body language, you put yourself in sync with the other person’s behavior and meet them in their model of the world. It’s magical when it happens! 

The secret to successful rapport building is to match and mirror outside the other person’s conscious awareness. When you match someone’s body language, you would not do so simultaneously with the other person. Instead, you would wait till it is your turn to speak and then use a similar gesture or aspect of posture. This way they become aware of your connection on an unconscious level.

Matching and mirroring is not just a physiological phenomenon. When you are in rapport, you activate the same thinking and feeling circuitry – called mirror neurons – in your brain as in the other person. You think similar thoughts. You feel similar feelings. Doing so creates an instant connection and trust.

Step 3: Test your rapport level.

After you have been matching and mirroring for 5 – 10 minutes, check to see if you have rapport with the other person.

To do so, stop matching and intentionally shift some aspect of your physiology — such as, crossing your legs or leaning back in your chair – and notice what happens.

Does the other person’s body language start to mimic yours?

If so, you are in rapport. Once you have successfully matched, you create an environment in which you can lead the other person where you want them to go.

For a leader, that’s power! The possibilities are endless how a leader can use rapport to influence an individual or an entire organization, such as …

• Getting emotional buy-in from employees for your company’s vision.
• Leading change within your organization without resistance.
• Creating alignment with your peers around a common decision
• Relaxing nervous job candidates during an interview
• Introducing a new way of doing things when a person or team has become fixed in their ways.

Takeaway: Matching and mirroring physiology is one of your most powerful, yet under-utilized, leadership tools for creating rapport and trust.  And you can learn it in minutes.

Final comments

Your body language can make or break your leadership influence, emotional state and trust within relationships. While it’s easy to use your physiology to increase your leadership effectiveness, it does take focus, intention and practice.

Decide right now what situations in the coming week – a meeting, performance review, customer negotiation, etc – in which you will use your body language to communicate authority, build rapport or just feel good for no good reason.

Then email me and let me know the outcome.

The post Top Leaders Communicate Authority Through Body Language. appeared first on The Empowered Business.

I learned growing up, however, that not lying is NOT the same thing as admitting and telling the truth.  The former prevents us from making false statements; the latter has the generative power to change individuals and organizations.

In my decades of working with business leaders, I have found that there is one trait — above all others – that transforms mediocre leaders to extraordinary ones.   That one trait is …

Rigorous truth-telling

Real leaders have backbone.  They admit the uncomfortable truth that others are not willing to even see.  They have a passion to want the truth and confront reality head-on.

It’s not just the responsibility of a leader to see and tell the truth.  It is part of their soul, their moral fiber.  Any compromise destroys trust, respect and credibility with themselves and from others.

The most important person to tell the truth is to Yourself.

We often think about the importance for leaders to tell the truth to others within their organizations.  Yet the most important, yet hardest, aspect of leadership truth telling is being rigorously honest with yourself.

Why?

It takes guts, personal awareness and humility to tell the truth about yourself to yourself.

When I work with leaders, my first goal is to help them get rigorously honest with themselves.  I have found that when leaders are willing to look at how they they avoid or deny the truth, that mirror of truth will liberate them to become the authentic, powerful leader they are meant to be.

Not sure how to uncover your truth as a leader?   Take inventory of the following 7 truths to get real about the present and to fuel your leadership changes in the future.

7 Real Truths That Fuel Real Leaders

Truth 1:  Either you are fighting for reasons or fighting for results. 

As a leader, there is no middle ground in what you stand for. You can stand for reasons or you can stand for results.  You CAN”T stand for both.

Real leaders fight for the results they want.  They are bold, committed and persistent about their desired outcomes.

Mediocre leaders fight for reasons why they don’t achieve them. When they say “yes” to reasons, they are essentially saying “no” to results.

Which are you fighting for right now?

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Are you tolerating under-performance?
• When you lead a meeting, to what extent do team members give reasons why they did not keep their commitments or reach their goals?
• Have you created an organizational culture of strong accountability?

Truth 2:  Either you are creating your future or reacting to it. 

Real leaders are masters at creating their future because they are internally driven and decisive about what they want.   They take responsibility for all their outcomes and see themselves as the doers of the world.

Mediocre leaders are externally driven and at the effects of their environment.  They believe that they have little control over their outcomes and that things happen to them.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Does your organization find itself in perpetual crises?
• When a negative event happens – like loss of a major customer, do you find yourself in panic or do you seek new options to achieve your goals?
• Does your organization have a clear vision in which every employee knows how he/she contributes?

Truth 3:  Either you are playing to win or playing not to lose.

Underlying this truth, there is a pivotal assumption that realleaders get and mediocre leaders don’t.

What is that pivotal assumption?

It is that you have a clear understanding of what winning is.  Mediocre leaders never even ask themselves questions like … where do we want to win?  Where can we win?  What does winning look like?  

Once you have a clear concept of winning, how do you know if you are playing to win vs. playing not to lose?

The answer is: your identity.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you see yourself as a winner even when you fail?
• Does the thought of risking to win trigger fear in you?
• Do you have a winning strategy to reach your company’s goals?

Truth 4:  Either you are growing or you are stagnating.

For your company to grow, you must grow as a leader.  When you stagnate, so will your company.  It’s that simple.

Real leaders do the things that others think they cannot do.   They continuously “push the envelope” in what is possible.

Mediocre leaders avoid discomfort.  I mean really avoid it.  Discomfort for them triggers fear and threatens their sense of safety and survival.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you push yourself out of your comfort zone daily?
• Are you comfortable with discomfort?
• Do you thrive on challenges or shrink from them?

Truth 5:  Either you embrace conflict or you avoid it.

Conflict has become a dirty word in the business world.

Mediocre leaders avoid conflict at all costs.  It’s viewed as painful, scary and a win/lose situation at best.  As a result, their organizations become homogenous and filled with “yes” people.

As Jim Collins, author, Good to Great, concluded from his extensive research, the #1 difference between good and great companies is that the leaders of great companies fostered healthy conflict to set direction and create innovative solutions for the future.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do your employees ever disagree with your decisions or viewpoints?
• Is there pseudo-harmony within your team?
• Do you tend to placate others whose viewpoints are different than yours?

Truth 6:  Either your actions are moving you “toward” or “away from” your goals. 

All behavior is self-motivated.  Your actions are motivated either to move toward something positive or away from something negative/painful.

Real leaders are “toward” motivated.  There is always the next horizon to reach.  Mediocre leaders tend to be “away from” motivated, driven by negative beliefs or secondary gains.  Their primary focus is on what they don’t want, rather than on what they want.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Are your actions mainly focused on reaching your goals or eliminating problems?
• Are any of your actions (such as, checking emails, going to certain meetings, etc.) really a distraction and taking you off-course?
• Are you focused more on what you want or what you don’t want?

Truth 7:  Either you are truly leading or merely following.

Real leaders understand that leadership is a way of thinking and a way of engaging with others.  They take bold steps into the future and hold themselves and others to high standards.    They see themselves as a leader of leaders and their job is to develop other leaders.

Mediocre leaders seek recognition from their team over respect, decide through consensus and deflect responsibility for results and problems to others.

Ask these questions to reveal your truth:

• Do you tend to focus on solutions or problems?
• To what extent are your employees “rowing the boat in the same direction?”
• Is most of your day spent on completing tasks or growing your people?
  

The Greatest Truth of All

The greatest truth of all … is that,

Truth is power.

I know that admitting the truth about yourself can sting in the moment.  And avoiding the truth may seem like the easier route.

In reality, hiding from the truth is like having a 10,000 lb. weight on your shoulders that drags you down.  It holds you and your organization back.  It keeps you in stress and struggle.

Are you ready to dump the baggage?

Start by using the above 7 truths to get honest with yourself:

Are you …

• fighting for results?
• focused on creating the future?
• playing to win?
• growing and getting out of your comfort zone?
• leveraging conflict to create innovative solutions?
• taking actions that move you “toward” our goals?
• truly leading?

Only when you admit reality can you seize your true leadership power and take charge of yours/your organization’s fate.

Which of these leadership truths is holding you back the most?  What support do you need to have a breakthrough?

The post Real Truths That Fuel Real Leaders appeared first on The Empowered Business.

Willpower Exhaustion

Because of my exertion-exhaustion approach,  my world came crashing down with life threatening illnesses that cost me everything in my life.  While I wished I had learned the lesson in a less traumatic way, there was a gift in that experience.

It catalyzed me to seek mindset tools and technologies to create results with ease and less effort.  It motivated me to learn how the brain works and its impact on our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.  It taught me how to live and realize inspiring work and life.

While my details may be different than yours, how many times as a leader have you:

• Used brute force and over-efforting to achieve goals?
• Mustered every ounce of your being to power through what needed to be done?
• Berated yourself for not making the changes and vowed to try harder?

Willpower is one of the least understood concepts, especially in the world of leadership.  To make tough decisions, manage never-ending changes and handle the demands of their roles, leaders rely heavily on willpower to make things happen.

Leaders also often pay a heavy price when they hit the willpower wall and spiral downward on both personal and company levels.  Let’s take a look at why.

Myths & Realities:  What Willpower Is and Is Not

Psychologists now understand that willpower is defined by 5 specific characteristics:

• Delaying gratification and resisting short-term temptations to meet long-term goals
• Overriding an unwanted thought, feeling or impulse
• Employing a “cool” cognitive system of behavior rather than a “hot” emotional system
•  Effortful regulating of self by the self
• Limited resource capable of being depleted

According to Kelly McGonigal PhD, author of The Willpower Instinct, willpower is an instinct that comes from both the brain and body.

The prefrontal cortex houses our decision making and behavioral control functions.  Self control, or willpower, is directed by this part of the brain.

Brain science tells us also that the prefrontal cortex can be easily depleted from cognitive and emotional tasks (such as, regulating our emotions).  The same tasks that leaders are required to perform non-stop in their roles.

The fact that we have just so much willpower before it runs out is a critical, yet seldom addressed issue in the world of leadership.  Willpower-depleted leaders have a tendency to push the envelope even harder until they crash and burn.  The ultimate risk for leaders is suffering from serious willpower exhaustion.

When leaders hit this danger point, the company pays a high price in irrational decision making, addictions, low productivity, out of control emotions, a toll on personal lives and the list goes on.

The key is for leaders to learn the right use of willpower to lead their company to higher levels of success and growth.  In my experience in working with leaders, below are examples when willpower is used for the right reasons:

• Delaying immediate gratification in your decision making

Doing so builds a leader’s strategic thinking capacity – ie., focusing on long term company gains, rather than reacting to “short-termitis” or immediate gratification.

• Living your purpose, vision and values

Living your company’s purpose and values takes daily leadership discipline and self-control. This right use of willpower requires leaders to respond to unexpected events through the lens of  purpose, vision and values, rather than go into crisis mode.

• Pacing change and growth

Most leaders have high initiative.   This quality is typically a leadership asset.  However, when it comes to change and growth, leaders must learn to utilize willpower to pace both at a rate their organization can handle.  A leader’s urge to go full force will cost the company the very outcomes it seeks.

How Do Leaders Exhaust Their Willpower?

The factors below are just the tip of the iceberg.

• Inability to Right-Size Stress

Under high levels of stress, the fight-or-flight response floods a leader’s body with energy to act instinctively rather than being utilized by the prefrontal cortex for effective decision-making.  High stress drives a leader to focus on short term survival outcomes, rather than the big picture, due to depleted willpower.

•  Trap of Excellence

Striving for excellence can be a trap for perfectionism.  Perfectionistic leaders have a mindset … “if I am not perfect in performing this task, then I am a failure.”  Expecting a perfect outcome takes its toll on a leader’s willpower and puts him/her into over-drive.  Such perfectionistic tendencies show up in  micro-managing, “analysis paralysis” or unwillingness to delegate, thus further depleting a leader’s energy reserves.

•  “Away From” Motivated Goals

“Away from” motivated goals are stated in terms of what you don’t want —  eg., “I don’t want to procrastinate anymore.”  “Away from” goals actually reinforce the outcome you don’t want.  They also take enormous willpower to overcome and, doing so, depletes that scarce resource.

•  Deficient Brain Fuel

Given the on-going demands on time and energy, leaders often neglect exercise, diet and sleep to cope with their workload.  Yet ignoring these basic necessities for brain functioning further depletes a leader’s blood sugar needed to fuel willpower, resulting in decreased performance.

The key is to recognize your willpower’s limitations – in quantity and effectiveness.  The next step is to learn how to strengthen your willpower for when you need it most in your  role.

7  Simple Strategies to Strengthen & Conserve Your Leadership Willpower

According to Kathleen Martin Ginis, assistant professor of kinesiology at McMaster University, willpower is like a muscle and needs to be challenged to build itself.  At the other end, just as an over-trained athlete needs rest and recovery, balancing the active use of willpower with downtime is a must.

Below are my 7 favorite strategies for conserving and strengthening leadership willpower.

1.     Empty Your Mind

Quiet Mind

Today’s leaders find themselves driven by a fast paced agenda, often denying themselves critical downtime to replenish their minds and bodies to be effective.  A daily 5-10 minute meditation is your best strategy for reducing stress, improving emotional and physical wellbeing, as well as tapping into your intuition for your next right actions and decisions.

2.     Leverage the Power of Oxytocin

Peer support helps strengthen a leader’s willpower. Doing so makes reaching goals easier, while using less willpower to do so.  A bonus benefit of peer support is an increase in your bonding neurohormone — oxytocin — that lowers stress, increases relaxation and amplifies trust among the team.

3.     Increase Willpower with the Right Fuel

Willpower is not all in the mind.  It is critical to supply your body with the high quality fuel it needs.  Reduce sugar and carbs to avoid energy dips, which can further deplete your willpower supply.

4.     Anticipate Problems

“What if” strategies are critical for both strengthening and conserving your leadership willpower.  Such strategies require you to figure in advance how you will deal with obstacles and make a plan for dealing with such obstacles.

5.     Ask Bigger Questions to Unleash Motivation

Rather than depend on willpower to reach your goals, ask yourself bigger questions to unleash motivation such as … “Who do I want to become as a leader?” … “WHY are these goals important to me?”  Tapping into your deepest  motivations fuels an energy source that pulls you toward your goal, rather than pushing through willpower.

6.     Frame Challenges as Pleasure

Recently I asked a leader to write a one year vision of what he wanted to achieve.  He originally wrote what a struggle it was to overcome his challenges around organization.  I asked him to reframe the challenge as a learning process and a series of small wins that he celebrated, rather than a struggle.

How you speak to yourself can determine success or failure.  The key is to reframe challenges by describing the resourceful state, not the disempowering one, you want to experience to achieve your desired outcome.

7.     Chunk Down to the “Critical Few”

Conserve your willpower for what really matters.  Set priorities and stop doing the things outside the critical few   Schedule time in the morning while you have a full tank of willpower to progress on your critical few.  Then give yourself a break to rebuild your willpower reserve.

The Most Important Point … Are you really ready to change?

Are you really ready to let go of your exertion – exhaustion cycle and experience an easier, more rewarding leadership path, starting TODAY? 

Your challenge with this change is rarely an issue of not knowing “how to’s.”  In fact, seeking out more knowledge can be a trap.

The truth is … change can happen in an instant … almost appear magical to the outside world.

The secret is to ask yourself  3 simple questions: 

What’s the greater motivator right now regarding making this change … to avoid pain or seek pleasure?  Ie., Do you perceive making this change as painful or pleasurable?

What will you gain if you keep using the “white knuckle” approach?

What will you lose if you keep using the “white knuckle” approach?

When you can honestly say that making the above changes is the greater motivator than sticking with old behaviors, the change has already started.  Practicing the “how to’s” just reinforces that desire and you are on your way to a different leadership experience.

The post Brain Science Secrets to Increase Leadership Willpower appeared first on The Empowered Business.

• Aspires to accomplish great things?

• Is always seeking to raise your bar higher?

• Continually searches for an edge in personal performance?

• Gets diminishing returns from your efforts?

• Is fired up to take things to the next level, but doesn’t know how?

For a moment, put aside the stresses of your day and shift your focus from what is to what can be.  It’s time to enter a world of new possibilities for yourself and your future.  It’s time to play a new Leadership Game.

Imagine  …

Photo Credit: David Niblack

• You could be at the top of your mental game with volition

• Instantly elevate yourself into a peak emotional and mental state within minutes

• Fuel your confidence, passion and motivation on a daily basis that moves you to action

What would that do to your leadership performance, success and results   in the future?

Ninety percent (90%) of your leadership success boils down to one critical factor: your psychology.  Great leaders who achieve their extraordinary visions and success share one fundamental power: the ability to harness their emotions and transform them into focused, self-directed actions and accomplishments.

Shifting your psychology is the quickest, most profound strategy for realizing peak performance. Let’s look at what you can do to master your state and ultimately your outcomes.

The State–Success Connection: 

“How are you feeling at this moment?”  Whether you realize it or not, right now your state is running your performance.  If you are depressed or fearful, you will experience low motivation, focus and/or productivity.  If you are in a positive state, you will feel a sense of vitality, direction and momentum.

No matter what your state, there is great news!  Unlike goals which take time to achieve, your state can change instantly.  Below are 7 key strategies for changing your state and rising to the top of your business game … starting now.

1. Lead From Your Peaks

An important presupposition about all humans is that people have all the resources they need to achieve success.  Our mental images, self-talk and feelings are the foundations of our “inner” resources.  We can use those resources to build any thought, feeling or skill we want.

To build those inner resources, practice leading from your peaks.  Imagine a defining moment in your past when you overcame fear or a setback. Notice your physiology at that time.  Recall what you said to yourself as you triumphed.  Reconnect to that feeling of determination and courage. Anchor those inner resources by “stepping back into those memories” as though they are happening now.  If you have done this process correctly, you will have ignited the same emotions in present time as you felt from your past peak moments.  Now ask:

• From what peak moment(s) can you lead? 

• What past triumph inspires you to realize your vision and to overcome any obstacle?  

• What higher peaks can you climb?

2. Re-Engineer Your Brain For Bigger Goals and Visions

Have you ever noticed when you are flying into the vast skies, how small a car or house look from above?  Likewise, in a vast world of endless possibilities, our norm is to pursue teeny, tiny goals that are the size of specks compared to our potential.  These goals often lack fire and excitement are driven by “shoulds” and “needs” rather than “wants” and “desires.”

Big, bold visions are the fuel of every great achievement.  They are the catalysts of magic.  Walt Disney – the ultimate dreamer – had one directive for his project managers in building theme parks:  “Build the castle first.”  He knew that getting the castle in place was where the magic was.   If you could feel the magic, you could go the distance and do the hard stuff.

• When was the last time you felt excited about your own personal leadership direction and that of your organization?

•   How can you re-engineer your leadership visions to ignite the magic?  

• What “castle” must you build first to go the distance?

3. Upgrade Your “Inner Rule Book”

Your “inner rule book” – namely, your beliefs and convictions — drive all your leadership behaviors, actions and decisions, as well as your state and emotions.  They make up the boundary conditions of your thinking and form the parameters of your Inner lLeadership Game.*   When your beliefs are based on a mindset of limitations, you narrow your possible outcomes.  When transformed into new empowering beliefs, they ignite potential and allow you to soar.

Warren Buffet believes that it is easier to create money than spend it.  Richard Branson believes that business is fun and creative and anything is possible.  The only difference between you and Warren Buffet or Richard Branson is your “inner rule book.

• What “inner rules” are keeping you back from playing a bigger Leadership Game? 

• Who is producing the leadership results you want?  What is that person’s beliefs or “inner rule” book?  

• Which of their beliefs could you adopt to realize a breakthrough in your own performance?

4. Make Supreme Confidence a Deliberate Choice

In my 28 years of transforming leaders, I have found that more than 70% of all leaders are victims of “backwards thinking.”  That is, they believe that confidence is a by-product of success, rather than the driver of success.

According to Bill Gates,  “supreme confidence is a choice.”  You choose it first; then the proof appears later.  To cultivate it, you must declare victory before you even step out on the battlefield.  Certainty will propel you to victory.

• What would it take for you to feel supremely confident as a leader?  

• What leadership victories are you ready to declare now? 

5. Distinguish Between Fact and Interpretation

In the world of NLP (NeuroLingusitic Programming), a core theme is:  “the map is not the territory.”  Your perception of reality is only a representation of reality.  It’s never reality itself.  No more than the map of California is California itself.

Einstein said that ‘there are very few facts,” yet we treat everything as fact.  We believe our perceptions are “truth,” when they are really subjective experiences.  The meaning you give to an event … your “story” … rather than the event itself will drive your state, your response and your outcomes.

I recently heard a cancer patient say that “she did not see cancer as killing her, but rather it gave her permission to live more fully.”  How many people do you know that would respond accordingly?  While we may not have control over the events in our lives, we do have choice in how we respond.  Our state depends on how we interpret events in our lives.  Our interpretation and ultimately our response will drive every outcome.

• What negative “story” are you telling yourself as a leader when revenues drop or a major customer is complaining about poor service?  

• What might be 3 positive interpretations of any current business challenge or setback you are experiencing personally or in your organization?  

• Given those new interpretations, how might you respond differently in terms of actions, behaviors and outcomes?

6. Amplify What Is Excellent

NLP is the study of human excellence.  It provides the tools, technologies and processes for leaders and organizations to achieve rapid breakthroughs and unleash greater potential.

In this spirit, one of the best ways to rise to the top of your game is by amplifying your excellence so much that the roadblocks seem like little bumps in the road.  How do you amplify your excellence?

One of my favorite processes is called The Circle of Excellence.  The process anchors into your neurology your state of excellence so you can access it on demand when needed.  To do something similar, think of a time when you excelled and relive it.  Amplify that memory by making it bigger, brighter, more colorful and compelling.  Put yourself into that memory as though it is happening now.  Imagine utilizing this excellence resource state in future situations when you need/want it.  Recall another memory of excellence and repeat the process.  Taking a few moments to stack and amplify your excellence memories will increase your performance exponentially.

• When in the past have you excelled in your leadership role or even personally? 

• In reliving those memories, what did you see, feel and say to yourself in that experience?  

• How can you use those images, feelings and self-talk as an excellence resource state in future situations?

7. Stay Committed To and Aligned With Your Core

Goals by themselves do not motivate actions.  They are merely the stepping stones to realize what we deem important: our values.  When identifying goals, we answer the question “what do we want?”  With values, we answer the question “why?”

Values act like superchargers on our motivations. Strong values ignite strong motivation.  When we disconnect from our values, we become de-motivated, feel empty and depressed, and cut off from  “our souls.”

Our values are our compass, steering our course based on our own sense of personal integrity and what we consider important.  Staying committed to our values drives authentic power, momentum toward  goals and experiencing meaning and fulfillment in your role and life.  True success and emotional mastery cannot be obtained without this alignment.

• What’s most important to you in your leadership role?  

• What recent actions, decisions or behaviors are out of integrity with your core values? 

• What new choices must you make to get back to your core? 

In the words of Thoreau, “For things to change, we must change.”  One new thought, one new decision, one new belief can change the size and direction of your entire Leadership Game.*

Applying the principles and exercises in this article can be that one thing that changes everything.  Learn how to master your emotions and your state and you are on the path to mastering your leadership destiny.

For more information about mastering your Inner and Outer Leadership Game,  click here.

 _____________________________

The post How to Rise to the Top of Your Leadership Game appeared first on The Empowered Business.